Soooo...
last night I posted very late at night and was falling asleep as I typed. I kept waking up to dashes or letters where I had apparently fallen asleep and my fingers rested on particular keys. I should not post so late any more. I remembered around lunch time today that I had posted in a sleepy stupor the night before and panicked when trying to remember what exactly I wrote. I reread it tonight and fear that I sound like a 6th grader.
So I'm sorry for the "I'm Sorry" post. Kind of funny if you could have seen me last night though.
Saturday, June 12
Friday, June 11
I'm Sorry
Tbe phrase, "I'm sorry", left my lips probably over 30 times today. I wasn't prepared for some tasks that I'm in charge of and ended up needing a lot of help from the people around me at the last minute. I was giving full on apologies beginning at 9:15 this morning and just got to bed at 12:15am after the final "sorry fest" of the day. Pulling off this massive camp involves a lot of moving parts and considering that this is not only our team's first week here, but the first week of the summer as a whole, communication and getting the swing of things is even more difficult. In the real world I feel like I'm always making excuses and pointing the finger. If I make a mistake I find someone else to blame rather than taking responsibility for it and humbly admitting my wrong. But here at camp I am constantly telling those around me that I am sorry for small things and large things.
In the talk tonight Annie actually said she was sorry too. She was sharing some of the sentences campers had written describing the brokeness in their lives. Though the pain they've experienced at various points in their lives back home has nothing to do with her, she still apologized to them. It was a sincere sentiment of, "I'm so sorry you've had to experience this."
At home we don't tell people we're sorry as frequently. I at least don't. I think I'd like to take both uses of the word home with me though.
In the talk tonight Annie actually said she was sorry too. She was sharing some of the sentences campers had written describing the brokeness in their lives. Though the pain they've experienced at various points in their lives back home has nothing to do with her, she still apologized to them. It was a sincere sentiment of, "I'm so sorry you've had to experience this."
At home we don't tell people we're sorry as frequently. I at least don't. I think I'd like to take both uses of the word home with me though.
Thursday, June 10
In Defense of Kristen Stewart
I have a favorite cabin here at camp based solely on their door decor. I found this one night while checking cabins...
What a joy to find a group of Twilight fans as committed to the glorification of Robert Pattinson's messy hair as I am. They are full on Twi-hards (apparently with a small case of Bieber Fever as well). I thoroughly enjoy the side by side pictures of RPattz and the Biebs running their hands through their tresses. It presents a nice opportunity for a compare and contrast exercise.
Despite my delight over their paraphernalia, I felt compelled to defend the helpless Kristen Stewart. I'm not sure how much you can make out from my picture, but her face has been marked up and she is labeled as "Devil" in one picture and "Satan" in the next (a little redundant for my taste). And then there is the comment complaining that "She thinks she owns Jacob". I think someone needs to make these middle schoolers aware that Kristen Stewart is not the same person as Bella Swan. It is unfair and a little crazy to refer to both a real person (Stewart) and fictional character (Jacob) in the same situation. Do they hate the character of Bella or the actress that plays her? But with Stewart being linked to RPattz in real life perhaps the principle still applies. If their hatred is spurred from jealousy over Bella's relationship with Edward, then the sentiment remains true concerning jealousy over Stewart's rumored romance with Pattinson.
My friend Natalie, who is also here working at camp, said she thought someone should tell them that Stewart is not actually the devil. I agreed and said while they're at it they should also refrain from identifying her as satan and any other common evil aliases.
Just another day here at Castaway.
What a joy to find a group of Twilight fans as committed to the glorification of Robert Pattinson's messy hair as I am. They are full on Twi-hards (apparently with a small case of Bieber Fever as well). I thoroughly enjoy the side by side pictures of RPattz and the Biebs running their hands through their tresses. It presents a nice opportunity for a compare and contrast exercise.
Despite my delight over their paraphernalia, I felt compelled to defend the helpless Kristen Stewart. I'm not sure how much you can make out from my picture, but her face has been marked up and she is labeled as "Devil" in one picture and "Satan" in the next (a little redundant for my taste). And then there is the comment complaining that "She thinks she owns Jacob". I think someone needs to make these middle schoolers aware that Kristen Stewart is not the same person as Bella Swan. It is unfair and a little crazy to refer to both a real person (Stewart) and fictional character (Jacob) in the same situation. Do they hate the character of Bella or the actress that plays her? But with Stewart being linked to RPattz in real life perhaps the principle still applies. If their hatred is spurred from jealousy over Bella's relationship with Edward, then the sentiment remains true concerning jealousy over Stewart's rumored romance with Pattinson.
My friend Natalie, who is also here working at camp, said she thought someone should tell them that Stewart is not actually the devil. I agreed and said while they're at it they should also refrain from identifying her as satan and any other common evil aliases.
Just another day here at Castaway.
Wednesday, June 9
A Different Kind of Fun Police
I've written before about Daniel and I's future career as the Fun Police. In that instance the Fun Police are there to increase the fun, however I think the more common use of that title is actually referring to the distinguishing of fun. Tonight I was the latter of the two.
Part of my role this month at camp is to perform "sweeps" which basically means we walk through the dorms to make sure all the campers have made their way to the next activity. We deal with the stragglers and kindly encourage them to join the crowd. We also direct them to their cabins at night and attempt to keep them inside aforementioned cabins. Allow me to emphasize the word "attempt". Keeping 400 middle schoolers inside their cabins is the most appropriate usage of the phrase "herding cats" that I've ever experienced. Travis, my fellow head leader, radioed me once on his walkie talkie saying, "I get them to go in one door and they go out another." Middle schoolers are sneaky little suckers. God love 'em but they mischievous.
A few groups got special opportunities to have a hot tub all to themselves or a private bonfire and smores session while the rest of camp was sent indoors. It was my job to shut down the party at 11:30. Shutting down a party of any sort goes against everything in Daniel and I's Fun Police Creed (notice "creed" with a capital C...it's pretty official). My dear friend Annie, the most hot-tub lovin' gal I've ever met, would be aghast at my kicking people out of an after-dark dip in the warm chlorinated waters of a jacuzzi. When I approached the final group of kids to close down their bonfire, a voice questioned who it was that was approaching them in the darkness. My reply was, "the fun police". He asked for my badge and I flashed my very official looking Castaway-issued name tag. After a few minutes of pleading they agreed to head back indoors. I finished my job tonight with the satisfaction of successfully herding the last of the cats to their bunk. But as I lie here about to fall asleep, I find myself conflicted. Yes I was performing my duty, but maybe this role isn't right for me. How can I in good conscience continue to be the bearer of bad news and close down parties night after night when I feel a call to foster and multiple the party?
Maybe it's a lesson in the value of all things in moderation. The fun can only be increased by managing it well. Those kids will go to sleep at a reasonable hour enabling them to awake bright and early and attack another day of fun-filled adventures. So maybe the Fun Police can reign strong in the midst of what looks like putting a damper on the party. Maybe this is my training ground leading me one step closer to a career in the field of fun.
Part of my role this month at camp is to perform "sweeps" which basically means we walk through the dorms to make sure all the campers have made their way to the next activity. We deal with the stragglers and kindly encourage them to join the crowd. We also direct them to their cabins at night and attempt to keep them inside aforementioned cabins. Allow me to emphasize the word "attempt". Keeping 400 middle schoolers inside their cabins is the most appropriate usage of the phrase "herding cats" that I've ever experienced. Travis, my fellow head leader, radioed me once on his walkie talkie saying, "I get them to go in one door and they go out another." Middle schoolers are sneaky little suckers. God love 'em but they mischievous.
A few groups got special opportunities to have a hot tub all to themselves or a private bonfire and smores session while the rest of camp was sent indoors. It was my job to shut down the party at 11:30. Shutting down a party of any sort goes against everything in Daniel and I's Fun Police Creed (notice "creed" with a capital C...it's pretty official). My dear friend Annie, the most hot-tub lovin' gal I've ever met, would be aghast at my kicking people out of an after-dark dip in the warm chlorinated waters of a jacuzzi. When I approached the final group of kids to close down their bonfire, a voice questioned who it was that was approaching them in the darkness. My reply was, "the fun police". He asked for my badge and I flashed my very official looking Castaway-issued name tag. After a few minutes of pleading they agreed to head back indoors. I finished my job tonight with the satisfaction of successfully herding the last of the cats to their bunk. But as I lie here about to fall asleep, I find myself conflicted. Yes I was performing my duty, but maybe this role isn't right for me. How can I in good conscience continue to be the bearer of bad news and close down parties night after night when I feel a call to foster and multiple the party?
Maybe it's a lesson in the value of all things in moderation. The fun can only be increased by managing it well. Those kids will go to sleep at a reasonable hour enabling them to awake bright and early and attack another day of fun-filled adventures. So maybe the Fun Police can reign strong in the midst of what looks like putting a damper on the party. Maybe this is my training ground leading me one step closer to a career in the field of fun.
Tuesday, June 8
There's No Other Place I'd Rather Be
I cried three times today. In public. And hard. Really, really hard. The second time should be described more accurately as weeping rather than mere crying. But when it comes to God and especially while at YL camp, crying always signifies joy or poignancy or being overcome by the beauty of the moment. Crying is a good thing here. It's been a long time since I've experienced moments like I've had the past few days. I've only been here since Saturday and I'm already feeling caught up in the grandeur of what God is doing in the lives of not only the campers but in the lives of those of us running the camp itself. Our camp director and fearless leader Ray would call this the "camp within the camp". I dare say that the ministry that is happening between the staff and other peers is just as powerful as that that is occurring with the campers themselves. I don't feel conflicted about this at all though we are here to host camp for the students. I don't feel guilty about this ministry amongst the "camp within the camp" because it is a picture of the Gospel too. Our faith doesn't culminate at the moment we meet God rather that is simply the beginning of a lifelong and eternal journey. A conversion experience or whatever you want to call it can be extremely powerful. It was for me. My initial response God and the beginning of my faith in a lot of ways completely changed who I was. However, after 11 years I have had a handful of experiences that have been just as powerful and in some cases even more life altering than my initial interaction with God.
I think this is how it should be. I think the start of a relationship with God, just like in any relationship, should be only the beginning. Of course we should grow deeper as we mature, gain wisdom, and "get to know each other better". I would hope that I am more in love with Daniel after sharing 30 or 40 years with him than I was after just our first year together. It's the same with God. The longer I know him, the deeper the places he will take me. After 11 years I have to say that he is taking me to some deep deep places I never could have comprehended even existed back then at the start. Days like today where I sensed his pride and joy for our work staff. Days like today where I can't even sing along to the verse "He loves us, Oh how He loves us" because I'm so moved I can't contain my sobs. Days like today where I can't even tell a story that happened two years ago without crying because the power of it is still fresh and the effect on the people involved is lasting even 2 years later. I stood during that worship song and thought, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now." There's no vacation or party or experience that holds more appeal than being here with these people doing this together right now. I am so grateful.
I think this is how it should be. I think the start of a relationship with God, just like in any relationship, should be only the beginning. Of course we should grow deeper as we mature, gain wisdom, and "get to know each other better". I would hope that I am more in love with Daniel after sharing 30 or 40 years with him than I was after just our first year together. It's the same with God. The longer I know him, the deeper the places he will take me. After 11 years I have to say that he is taking me to some deep deep places I never could have comprehended even existed back then at the start. Days like today where I sensed his pride and joy for our work staff. Days like today where I can't even sing along to the verse "He loves us, Oh how He loves us" because I'm so moved I can't contain my sobs. Days like today where I can't even tell a story that happened two years ago without crying because the power of it is still fresh and the effect on the people involved is lasting even 2 years later. I stood during that worship song and thought, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now." There's no vacation or party or experience that holds more appeal than being here with these people doing this together right now. I am so grateful.
Monday, June 7
Life is Imperfect
I missed a post last night by no fault of my own. Blogger was down for the count. I tried different browsers all to no avail. So despite my best efforts sometimes life gets in the way and makes perfection impossible. Life wasn't meant to be perfect and neither was I. Life goes on in the midst of mistakes, mediocrity, and website malfunctions. And it's okay.
Instead of posting I enjoyed watching the MTV movie awards with Daniel despite not having a TV and being a few hundred miles away from Daniel. We skyped and he pointed his computer towards the TV so I could watch along with him. It felt like I was sitting on our couch in the living room with him. I took a screen shot of the scene. This was completely unstaged or set-up. Kind of sweet I think.
Instead of posting I enjoyed watching the MTV movie awards with Daniel despite not having a TV and being a few hundred miles away from Daniel. We skyped and he pointed his computer towards the TV so I could watch along with him. It felt like I was sitting on our couch in the living room with him. I took a screen shot of the scene. This was completely unstaged or set-up. Kind of sweet I think.
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