I knew one of the more difficult pieces of this loss was going to be missing out on a week of camp with the sweet (and crazy wild) West girls. I had been doing fairly well with the loss of YL for a while until these past few weeks as camp crept closer and closer. Facebook and Twitter have been full of posts from my friends who are leaders all over the midwest saying things like, "And for the 16th year in a row, I hop on a bus to spend a week at YL camp" and "One week till camp and the best week of kids' lives". I longed to share another week of adventure and a life changing message with high school kids. Last night the bus full of beloved teenagers headed to Georgia pulled out of the parking lot. And today I am able to write this post with a twinge of sadness but still able to proclaim the sweetness of the Lord. Because last week, well you see, last week God gave me a little gift (or two or three).
Young Life camp is special. I could go on for pages elaborating, but let me sum it up by saying that camp is holy ground. Things happen there that just don't happen at home. Or can they? Because if they can't and I can't be a Young Life leader then I will forever feel a void in ministry. Last week I felt God say that his reach goes farther than camp. He cannot be leashed or fenced in. Special things happen at camp and I am so excited to hear stories from this year's campers about all of those special things that happened in Georgia. But if we have eyes to see, I believe we can be witness to the special and painfully beautiful things happening right here right in front of us every day. I believe this because it happened to me and it keeps happening. Over and over again God sits beside me and overwhelms me with beauty. I have moments where he lends me his eyes and I see glimpses of heaven.
Last week West cheerleaders competed at Regionals. I joined parents and other students in the stands of a high school gym (my cathedral where I go to worship and participate in a divine story). Our girls waited in the wings wearing their new sequined uniforms and ponytails full of ringlets. They left their "on deck" position and took their places on the mat. And when their name was announced we stood, and clapped, and yelled, and stomped our feet. The judges requested, "Silence please" and we took our seats. They began their routine and I sat on the edge of the bleacher nervous for the team of girls riddled by summer injuries, rotating positions and substitutions, last minute routine changes. I felt my heart swell with pride as they executed stunt after stunt and when they were finished the crowd exploded in celebration. We cheered on the cheerleaders. And as I stood cheering, I fought back tears. The Father had given me his eyes and I was overcome watching his kids feeling a small piece of what he feels when he sees them. Pride. Joy. And love, so much love.
Few things move me as much as seeing kids just being kids. And here it was again. It was just a bunch of teenage girls performing a cheer routine, but if God draws your heart to teenagers, if you cherish these kids, if you've heard their desire to succeed, if you've witnessed their efforts in practice, to see them in their element is nothing short of magical. I love seeing kids on stage and having the Father's eyes to appreciate and celebrate them as their audience. I can barely grasp that this is how God sees me. He's my audience proudly applauding and cheering me on. I know how I feel about these kids, so to think that's how he feels about me is almost too much!
It was beautiful. It was special. It was spiritual. It was holy ground. And it was a mile away from my house on a Thursday night.
God reassured me that there will be no void in ministry without Young Life camp. But I love Young Life camp. And I love Young Life. And I love kids. And I love that Ashley is finally going to experience camp after 3 summers of praying that this would be the summer she could go. So we choose to participate however we can. We may not have been invited onto the bus, but there is a story happening behind the scenes too. We will pray and join the unseen story. We will pray for those on the front lines, for tthe leaders who get the privilege to be present to see God's love manifest right in front of their eyes. And we will pray for glimpses of this love too! We will pray for eyes to see the unseen, to somehow be witnesses to the salvation taking place a thousand miles away.
This week I've been full of joy and peace. I was able to send off the West girls, many of them the same cheerleaders I cried for last week, with a sincerely joyful and content heart. My only sadness comes from a selfish desire to have a front row seat to watch the miracles happen at camp and having to stay at home. But one of my old YL girls is joining the girls in their cabin as one of their leaders. Now that is sweet. Any sadness I have about "missing out" fades pretty quickly when I picture Alie running around in some crazy volleyball uniform or sitting on the floor of the cabin sharing stories with a circle of girls. I got to take Alie to camp 3 years ago and to have her return this summer as a leader of the girls I have been chasing, well that's nothing short of a gift. To have "one of your own" go in your stead? God I am so blessed to be a part of something like that. And if that weren't enough, a former YL girl Maddie will also be at camp in Georgia leading a cabin of girls from Jeff City, the first community where Daniel and I fell in love with high schoolers as YL leaders in college. Seeing Lee's Summit alumni continue the work we participated in in Jeff City?! Amazing. And to top it off another alumni Addie will be spending this week alongside her Colorado YL girls at camp in Arizona.
I think this is what God meant when kids prayed for me as a dandelion; the seeds are blown all over the place, they scatter and then bloom. Today I have eyes to see a field full of dandelions. After I wrote the dandelion post my sweet friend Amy posted a picture on my facebook. Thanks Amy. God just reminded me of the picture. It encouraged me then, but the encouragement it brings me today is ten-fold. I just looked back at my facebook to see the picture again expecting to see a field of yellow bloomed dandelions and was at first disappointed to find that the picture does not contain dandelions in their flower form but rather as seeds ready to be blown. Then I realized how much sweeter that picture is. Seeds ready to be blown. Alie, Maddie, and Addie: first scattered and bloomed themselves now ready to scatter their own seeds creating fields of their own. That is a better picture by far. I may be missing out on a week in Georgia, but I certainly am not missing out on God's powerful and oh so overwhelming beautiful work.
