Quick Update

So I'm realizing there are people who read this blog who a. aren't related to me and b. don't live near me and thus talk to me on a daily basis. So let me fill you in on my other job situation since I never mentioned it on here once it actually became official. I will be assisting on the day of weddings for the Kansas City wedding consulting firm Simple Elegance. Read here if you'd like to hear about my first wedding assisting experience. Simple Elegance was the "first choice" I kept mentioning in all my job hunt blog posts, so needless to say I am overjoyed to have an opportunity to work with/for the firm that I was longing for. I'm really excited about assisting and other roles with them down the road.

When I originally wanted to pursue event planning I never really considered weddings. But considering that the majority of event business is weddings, I shouldn't be surprised that this is where I ended up. Since helping on my first wedding I can't imagine not working on weddings. What girl wouldn't want to surround herself with memories of the most coveted day in a girl's life (sorry if this is a sweeping statement that doesn't apply to all women). I get to immerse myself in the world of gorgeous bridal gowns, diamond rings, and romantic moments like the walk down the aisle, cake cutting, and the first dance. I feel myself becoming more girly by the minute.

A Reminder of Why I'm Doing This

Just when I thought I was "over" anxiety, it reared its little head today. With all the excitement of two new jobs and a renewed sense of purpose and place in this world, I was gaining speed and distance from my low serotonin levels. Today I had the day off and it's like my idleness enabled it to catch up to me. I had been feeling pretty stable lately. That doesn't mean things have been easy or that all my relationships have been peaceful. But I was feeling like I was able to approach adversity like a normal person where difficulties don't send me on a rollercoaster of emotion.

I'm not sure what triggered my "woe is me" attitude today, but it felt like everything was irritating me. Suddenly I was noticing every pile of junk/clutter that has accumulated around the house, every cob web in the corner of the ceiling, and the layers of dust blanketing every surface. Extreme irritability is one of the primary signals that I'm feeling anxious. I wasn't able to make the connection between irritability and anxiety until my counselor mentioned it. I literally thought the dirty dishes or Daniel's quirky habits were what were actually causing me strife. The truth is anything and everything can irk me. Sometimes it's just easier to blame Toby or Penny for being "bad" dogs than for me to take responsibility for cleaning up after them and beyond that being a responsible owner and housebreaking them in the first place. The house being in disrepair and the dogs making a mess in the house is no one's fault but mine. This is part of being an adult (something my anxiety wants me to reject).

So today wasn't such a great day. Actually at least I can be proud that instead of running from things that overwhelm me, I attacked them. I cleaned up a bag's worth of trash from our bedroom, another bag's worth of clothes to donate, and now you can actually see the surface of our nightstands and the carpet underneath our bed. Take that anxiety!

First Young Life

Tonight was our first Young Life club of the year. Daniel spoke and shared the story about the first YL club he ever attended as a 14 year old high school freshman. For the record the first club Daniel attended happened to also be the first club I ever attended as well. That's kind of crazy! He told the story about having no idea of what Young Life actually was, but going because Joey and Justin "told" him he was going. He had a great time and couldn't have known how much Young Life would go on to impact and change his life. Here he was tonight 13 years later and he has continued attending YL club each week for each of those 13 years. Me too. How could we have known at the time what the future had in store for each of us and for us together and how Young Life would be right at the center of it.

He talked about some of the songs we sang at club back in 1997 and kids started calculating how old they were at the time. One of my sophomores Aly said, "I was 3." Woah. Yes I felt old and all of that, but it also planted a cool thought in my head. When I was 16 and experiencing my first YL club, Aly was just a toddler. 13 years later I would go on to become her YL leader. Back in 1997 I never envisioned myself as someone who could lead other people (especially when it came to anything having to do with God or religion) and be the one running the show up front. But here I am doing just that. I wonder how many kids in the room tonight will go on to continue this cycle. I wonder how many 3 year olds are out there who will eventually make their way into a YL club. It makes me think about the thousands of "kids" who have gone before me since 1941 when this whole Young Life thing started. It's quite the legacy. I love that I'm a part of something with so much history, tradition, and significance. We are all members of something much bigger than ourselves and much more profound than the fish people had to "dive" for during the dive for fish game we played at my first club and much more profound than the Justin Bieber song we sang tonight. But the fish and the songs are part of our legacy too, that of silliness, play, fun, and life. I have such pride in belonging to this organization...and a lot of great friends and memories.

You Know You're Becoming an Adult When...

You know you're becoming an adult when you drink coffee because you need it not just because it tastes good.

I'm 28 and slowly but surely I'm shrugging off my delayed adolescence and beginning to embrace adulthood...kind of. I don't actually drink coffee, but I do drink Chai Lattes. I used to drink them because they are delicious. Now I drink them because I need the caffeine. I actually have something to get up for in the morning, some place to be, some thing to do. Rather than sipping away in the coffee shop while reading or surfing the internet, now I'm microwaving my at home version (to save money of course), pouring it into a travel cup, and gulping it down before walking into work. The times how they are a-changin'.

Go Chiefs!

Daniel and I went to the Chiefs season opener tonight. It was a lot of fun, but every time I go to a game I feel like a foreign exchange student observing strange American rituals. Daniel's family have been season ticket holders since he was a kid, but whenever I'm offered a ticket I usually defer to someone who would appreciate the game more than I would. Thus the experience of an NFL game, let alone at the loudest stadium in the country, is not real familiar to me. Most of the KC traditions seem so commonplace to locals and American sports fans in general, but if you can see them from the outside you can recognize how strange they really are. Fireworks are going off and the graphic on the big screens reads, "Rise today. Change this world." I was feeling inspired and then remembered this was all for a football game. What does football have to do with changing the world? I'm not saying there's not a correlation. I'm just not seeing it, so I'd appreciate some help here. Then there's the military presence. I support our troops and gave them a standing ovation when they entered the field, but again I'm missing the link between the armed forces and football. Are they fighting to protect football and all aspects of American culture we hold so dear? The military and football seem to have always gone hand in hand somehow as further demonstrated during the national anthem (tonight as sung by Billy Ray Cyrus). This time the graphics on the big screen were pictures of Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and one of the domed government buildings with the words "democracy" and "justice" fading in and out. It looked like a commercial for the US, but created by Eastern Europeans from their stereotype of what they think America is like. Apparently we are just as cheezy and cliche as our stereotype since this was created right here at home. Then there's the cheering and chanting. I still can't decide if the "Tomahawk Chop" is offensive or not. The Chiefs have done away with a lot of their racially offensive traditions and the Chop remains. Does that mean it's politically correct...enough? To chop or not to chop? Then of course the touchdown song, "Da-na-na-na-na Nah Nah Nah Hey! na-na-na We're gonna beat the hell outta you. You! You! You-you-you!" If I'm a foreign exchange student and I hear 80,000 people first chanting like Native Americans and waving their arms then proclaiming that they're going to beat the hell out of whoever "you" is, I'm freaked out. Even more so I'm wondering how everyone all knows the same chants and when to perform them. Maybe foreign exchange student is a bad example since soccer (other futbol) has a lot of these same types of rituals during their games. Maybe alien/extraterrestrial is a better example to highlight the strangeness of our traditions.

Now that I've made my case for why I can feel like an outsider or observer during the oddity of NFL football, let me say that it was a fantastic night. It was a Monday Night Football game AND the first game at Arrowhead since the completion of all the new renovations, so needless to say there was a lot of pomp and circumstance that was right up my alley. We took our seats on the club level in the end zone. I felt guilty for having such incredible seats knowing that there are die hard fans out there who would kill for them. They dimmed the lights in the stadium and began the pregame hoopla including lazers, fireworks, and KC Wolf zip-lining from our section onto the field. At the start of the second quarter the rain and lightning started. Thanks to our covered seats we were protected and able to stay high and dry and comfortable throughout the entire game. (Felt guilty, but grateful, at this point as well.) I actually watched the game and understood what was going on. I stood up, clapped, and cheered during the plays. Wearing a borrowed Chiefs shirt from Daniel, I think I pulled off the appearance of a fan pretty well. It was a fun and exciting experience. Not bad for a Monday night.

KC Wolf ziplining onto the field.

You're Joking Right?

"Okay Hattie I'm going to have you start your shift today by trying on all the clothes."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll open one of the fitting rooms in the back for you and just go ahead and fill it up with everything to try on."

"You're joking right?"

"We like our associates to know how things fit so they can better assist clients."

"So just pants and denim?"

"No everything: skirts, jackets, tees, everything."

"Is this a trick?"

My first hour at work today was a shopper's dream come true. I literally went around the store and picked out huge stacks of clothes and then went to the large fitting room and played dress up. The whole time I was wondering if this was a. a test (where I would fail if I didn't catch on that clearly employees shouldn't be shopping or trying on clothes while still on the clock) or b. a practical joke they play on newbies. It was neither, but it was fun. It actually makes a lot of sense. This way I am knowledgeable when speaking to the sizing and tailoring of each item. But the scenario just seemed a little too good to be true. I think those sneaky suckers at corporate probably know that this hour in the fitting rooms only further tempts their employees to utilize the discount and spend their paycheck at the store just pumping money back into the machine. I had the thought at one point, "Maybe because I haven't purchased anything with my discount yet they're trying to nudge me a little. Surely they only resort to this with the more conservative spending employees." I know how paranoid I sound. Anyway, I'm really enjoying this job if you can't tell.