Speaking of people being supportive in my job search...
I bought my domain name for my website through GoDaddy.com. (Sidenote: I was very conflicted about this because I think their ad campaigns during the Superbowl are super offensive and inappropriate which is funny because I normally don't get worked up about stuff like that. But they are extremely cheap and reputable and user friendly so I went with them despite my moral objections.) A few days after I registered my site, a customer service rep called to check in and see if I had any technical questions or needed any assistance. He pulled up my site while on the phone to see how everything was running. As he browsed the site he showered me with compliments. Now this was probably all part of his training. You know give the client confidence and encouragement. But I was really flattered even if it was just typical customer service. "This header looks great. Have you done graphic design?" "These pictures are cool. Your work all looks really good." "Well I think you'll totally get a job once people see this."
It was probably only a five minute conversation, but I hung up the phone feeling like the most capable unemployed person out there. Well done GoDaddy.com. I may hate your suggestive ads, but oh how I appreciate your superior customer service.
Saturday, August 7
Friday, August 6
Do Not Worry
I've been reading Matthew 6:30-34 lately in light of my not knowing what is next. The Message translation is stated so perfectly for my current situation. There's a line in that version that says, "But you know who God is and about his ways." This is the phrase that has been an anchor for me. I was journaling and listing the things I know about who God is and then in turn about the way he works. One thing I wrote/remembered was that I have been in unknown places like this before in my life (college decision, job decision, who God oh who will I marry?- that one got a lot of attention during my college years). And each time God came through. In time I realized where he was leading and what (and who) he had in store for me. The other thing I remembered is the ways in which he works. His timing is certainly different than mine. I am so impatient, even though looking back I can see how very perfect his timing is in each and every instance. He really does know what he's doing. I ended up at Mizzou, working for Young Life, and yes indeed married to Daniel. Once I discovered each of those things, the decision seemed so obvious, but at the time the future looked so unclear.
I trust him and that this time is no different from the others. I believe that he does have something in store for me. The promise I've clung to these past 7 months is that if he called me away from Young Life staff then he must be calling me to something else. And Jeremiah 29:11 takes the idea of "a plan in store" one step further by including that it is a good plan, full of hope and promise, prosperity and not harm.
But this is the tension I'm living in- knowing and believing that the future awaits, but waiting and wondering what, where, when, and with whom it will be. (That's a lot of w's.) I ready for the next thing, anxious to work hard at a new task, to jump in and immerse myself in the work. Slowly but surely I am dipping my toe in the water and putting myself and my resume out there. As God closes doors and ends leads I can only trust that he's making room for his plan. Rejection hurts and I'm scared. I'm learning to believe in myself even outside of a youth ministry setting. I'm starting to see my skill and worth outside of just working with high schoolers.
Thank you so much to all of you my friends who have texted or emailed or called in the past few weeks. Your encouraging words about my skills pick me up each day when I start to doubt that I can actually work in the creative world. Things aren't as tangible or measurable in creative fields. You're kind of either good or you're not whereas in sales you can go, go, go and see objective results. So thank you for affirming me and helping me to stand confidently as I submit my resume and can say proudly that I would be an asset to someone's team. Oh and every time I hear of someone else getting a job, I start to believe a little bit more that it will happen for me to! I love rejoicing with friends as they discover what is next for them too. I know I am not alone in this and that feels really good.
I trust him and that this time is no different from the others. I believe that he does have something in store for me. The promise I've clung to these past 7 months is that if he called me away from Young Life staff then he must be calling me to something else. And Jeremiah 29:11 takes the idea of "a plan in store" one step further by including that it is a good plan, full of hope and promise, prosperity and not harm.
But this is the tension I'm living in- knowing and believing that the future awaits, but waiting and wondering what, where, when, and with whom it will be. (That's a lot of w's.) I ready for the next thing, anxious to work hard at a new task, to jump in and immerse myself in the work. Slowly but surely I am dipping my toe in the water and putting myself and my resume out there. As God closes doors and ends leads I can only trust that he's making room for his plan. Rejection hurts and I'm scared. I'm learning to believe in myself even outside of a youth ministry setting. I'm starting to see my skill and worth outside of just working with high schoolers.
Thank you so much to all of you my friends who have texted or emailed or called in the past few weeks. Your encouraging words about my skills pick me up each day when I start to doubt that I can actually work in the creative world. Things aren't as tangible or measurable in creative fields. You're kind of either good or you're not whereas in sales you can go, go, go and see objective results. So thank you for affirming me and helping me to stand confidently as I submit my resume and can say proudly that I would be an asset to someone's team. Oh and every time I hear of someone else getting a job, I start to believe a little bit more that it will happen for me to! I love rejoicing with friends as they discover what is next for them too. I know I am not alone in this and that feels really good.
Thursday, August 5
Is It Bad?
Is it bad that I keep missing posts on a blog that I agreed to post on everyday?
Is it bad that I keep missing posts on a blog that I agreed to post on everyday because I keep falling asleep in front of the TV every night?
Is it bad that I keep missing posts on a blog that I agreed to post on everyday because I keep falling asleep in front of the TV every night because I can't stay awake past 11pm anymore?
Seriously, I am really wanting to get back in the habit of posting daily. Which means I'll have to stop waiting to post before bed since I apparently can't stay awake long enough these days to do so. Look at me being all proactive and posting at 7pm. The real "is it bad" I want to post is this...
Is it bad that I check to make sure my dogs are still breathing when they're sleeping?
Toby is 9 or 10 (when we got him they told us he was 6 or 7, so each year I just continue that: 7 or 8, 8 or 9, now this past birthday he turned 9 or 10). Penny will be 13 in November. So they are older dogs. My friend Allie has referred to them as "geriatric" before. Though they are full of life and sprightly little chaps, I am very much aware of the lifespan of dogs and the thought creeps up on me when I glance down and see them peacefully sleeping. I normally just look for the rise and fall of their furry little bellies to signal as a sign of life, but I have resorted to more drastic techniques before. I once kicked Penny multiple times in the middle of the night just to make sure she responded.
Is it bad that I keep missing posts on a blog that I agreed to post on everyday because I keep falling asleep in front of the TV every night?
Is it bad that I keep missing posts on a blog that I agreed to post on everyday because I keep falling asleep in front of the TV every night because I can't stay awake past 11pm anymore?
Seriously, I am really wanting to get back in the habit of posting daily. Which means I'll have to stop waiting to post before bed since I apparently can't stay awake long enough these days to do so. Look at me being all proactive and posting at 7pm. The real "is it bad" I want to post is this...
Is it bad that I check to make sure my dogs are still breathing when they're sleeping?
Toby is 9 or 10 (when we got him they told us he was 6 or 7, so each year I just continue that: 7 or 8, 8 or 9, now this past birthday he turned 9 or 10). Penny will be 13 in November. So they are older dogs. My friend Allie has referred to them as "geriatric" before. Though they are full of life and sprightly little chaps, I am very much aware of the lifespan of dogs and the thought creeps up on me when I glance down and see them peacefully sleeping. I normally just look for the rise and fall of their furry little bellies to signal as a sign of life, but I have resorted to more drastic techniques before. I once kicked Penny multiple times in the middle of the night just to make sure she responded.
Tuesday, August 3
Best Summer Ever
This summer has been filled with more classic, nostalgia soaked adventures than I've had in all the years since high school. (Cause let's face it...nothing beats high school summers. Well except maybe childhood summers, but I remember feeling really bored as a kid during the summer months, so maybe not.) Anyway, all of my favorite memories from this summer, the ones I would label as adventures, all include swimming for some reason. The first was our "adult sneak out" at Castaway. The second was a swim in the creek with my YL girls. And tonight is the third: a swim in Lake Winnebago while stranded in the dark because the pontoon ran out of gas. Allow me to explain.
After hanging out at our house tonight, Jaycie ,a soon-to-be sophomore, invited us to her house for a ride on her pontoon. I, with my affinity for water related adventures, jumped at the invitation. Our group quickly dwindled to me, Jaycie, and Nick (another sophomore in waiting) but none of us seemed to mind. With the threat of running out of gas, we opted for a slow pace in order to preserve our reserves. It was perfect. Touring around the silent lake atop the stillest of waters looking at the houses lit up by the glow of lamps and televisions. We were completely alone on the water. Nick accidentally dropped a buoy into the water and I volunteered to go in after it. Jaycie killed the engine and I jumped into the warm water to retrieve the buoy. I swam back to the boat and we attempted to continue our trip around the lake only Jaycie couldn't get the engine started back up. It sputtered a little but wouldn't turn over. "Out of gas," she calmly announced. She called her parents to come and tow us back home. Her non-chalance over our predicament made me feel like this was a common occurrence.
"Well, we might be awhile if you guys want to swim," she said. Nick and I didn't need any more permission than that and we promptly jumped in. We treaded water in the dark summer night laughing and telling stories and wishing there were more stars like the way it was in Colorado at Young Life camp. Joy wraps itself around me in moments like these, but tonight's wasn't a hyper, exciting kind of joy, but rather a quiet, strong, and peaceful contentedness.
Our rescue crew approached and we climbed back aboard our stranded vessel. Even the tow home was pleasant. Jaycie's parents didn't seem to mind having to come rescue us, even when her dad tested the engine and discovered that we weren't in fact out of gas, but rather Jaycie just seemed to be a little confused as to how to start the engine. No harm, no foul.
When I came home I posted as my facebook status that I had had a fun night on the lake with Jaycie and Nick. Within a few minutes they had both commented on my status with the equivalent of a "ditto". We didn't need a big crowd or profound conversation to have a meaningful night, but just each other's company in a simple and beautiful setting. Chap Clark, an expert on adolescent culture, is absolutely correct when he said kids just want and need adults to be present and available in their lives. Parents are a vital presence, but kids also benefit from a secondary adult presence as well. As a Young Life leader I have a platform to do this, to just "show up" with no agenda and no strings attached. The kids tonight obviously appreciated it, but I don't know if anyone tonight had more fun than I did. So maybe me, the adult, needs kids in my life just as much as they need me, maybe just for the sole purpose of teaching me how to enjoy life's little adventures as life's most beautiful moments.
After hanging out at our house tonight, Jaycie ,a soon-to-be sophomore, invited us to her house for a ride on her pontoon. I, with my affinity for water related adventures, jumped at the invitation. Our group quickly dwindled to me, Jaycie, and Nick (another sophomore in waiting) but none of us seemed to mind. With the threat of running out of gas, we opted for a slow pace in order to preserve our reserves. It was perfect. Touring around the silent lake atop the stillest of waters looking at the houses lit up by the glow of lamps and televisions. We were completely alone on the water. Nick accidentally dropped a buoy into the water and I volunteered to go in after it. Jaycie killed the engine and I jumped into the warm water to retrieve the buoy. I swam back to the boat and we attempted to continue our trip around the lake only Jaycie couldn't get the engine started back up. It sputtered a little but wouldn't turn over. "Out of gas," she calmly announced. She called her parents to come and tow us back home. Her non-chalance over our predicament made me feel like this was a common occurrence.
"Well, we might be awhile if you guys want to swim," she said. Nick and I didn't need any more permission than that and we promptly jumped in. We treaded water in the dark summer night laughing and telling stories and wishing there were more stars like the way it was in Colorado at Young Life camp. Joy wraps itself around me in moments like these, but tonight's wasn't a hyper, exciting kind of joy, but rather a quiet, strong, and peaceful contentedness.
Our rescue crew approached and we climbed back aboard our stranded vessel. Even the tow home was pleasant. Jaycie's parents didn't seem to mind having to come rescue us, even when her dad tested the engine and discovered that we weren't in fact out of gas, but rather Jaycie just seemed to be a little confused as to how to start the engine. No harm, no foul.
When I came home I posted as my facebook status that I had had a fun night on the lake with Jaycie and Nick. Within a few minutes they had both commented on my status with the equivalent of a "ditto". We didn't need a big crowd or profound conversation to have a meaningful night, but just each other's company in a simple and beautiful setting. Chap Clark, an expert on adolescent culture, is absolutely correct when he said kids just want and need adults to be present and available in their lives. Parents are a vital presence, but kids also benefit from a secondary adult presence as well. As a Young Life leader I have a platform to do this, to just "show up" with no agenda and no strings attached. The kids tonight obviously appreciated it, but I don't know if anyone tonight had more fun than I did. So maybe me, the adult, needs kids in my life just as much as they need me, maybe just for the sole purpose of teaching me how to enjoy life's little adventures as life's most beautiful moments.
Monday, August 2
A Wise Investment
I have to tell you that at the end of the day of Tweeting and Tumblr-ing and website-ing as I continue to network online as part of the job search, THIS feels like coming home. We're approaching the 200th post and I'm still shocked at how posting something everyday still continues to change and grow me. A reader might not notice it, especially since the majority of the posts are extremely random and disjointed, but I as the writer notice the difference. I reminded myself time and time again that the process was more important than the product. Breaking myself of this perfectionism is more vital than maintaining the charade of perfection in my performance. I am different already, but certainly still have a long way to go. But this little project here is working. I'm sure I'll be able to articulate why at some point in this journey, just not quite yet.
Speaking of random...do you like that poor excuse for a transition? I was listening to Hot 103 Jamz ("don't forget to slam that z") this past weekend. Okay side note: I was listening because there was a good run of songs playing that I could sing along with and I may or may not have been trying to memorize choruses and cataloguing good songs for use in my wedding band/singer repertoire. I really really want to perform with a wedding band. I just need a couple to trust me enough to let me and the band perform at their wedding. Anyway, a quick segment came on where the radio personality pulled out a question from the mailbag to answer. The topic was how to become wealthy if you don't come from affluence. His advice was really great as he began with the importance of saving, saving, saving. He also talked about cutting your spending and reevaluating your needs vs. your wants. For example diamond jewelry depreciates so you shouldn't waste your time on things like diamond encrusted emblems hanging from a chain dripping in diamonds, or fresh clothes, or spinners (no matter how badly you want them). Good sound advice, right? And then he said to invest your money. He did mention stocks, but it was about fourth on his list somewhere after...ready for it? stamps and antique coins. These things only appreciate in value, so invest now and you'll be rich later. Can't say I've heard this advice recently or ever for that matter. So I'll definitely look into it. Sounds promising. While I'm at in I'll probably pick up a lottery ticket as well just in case the coins or baseball cards or Hummel collection doesn't work out.
Speaking of random...do you like that poor excuse for a transition? I was listening to Hot 103 Jamz ("don't forget to slam that z") this past weekend. Okay side note: I was listening because there was a good run of songs playing that I could sing along with and I may or may not have been trying to memorize choruses and cataloguing good songs for use in my wedding band/singer repertoire. I really really want to perform with a wedding band. I just need a couple to trust me enough to let me and the band perform at their wedding. Anyway, a quick segment came on where the radio personality pulled out a question from the mailbag to answer. The topic was how to become wealthy if you don't come from affluence. His advice was really great as he began with the importance of saving, saving, saving. He also talked about cutting your spending and reevaluating your needs vs. your wants. For example diamond jewelry depreciates so you shouldn't waste your time on things like diamond encrusted emblems hanging from a chain dripping in diamonds, or fresh clothes, or spinners (no matter how badly you want them). Good sound advice, right? And then he said to invest your money. He did mention stocks, but it was about fourth on his list somewhere after...ready for it? stamps and antique coins. These things only appreciate in value, so invest now and you'll be rich later. Can't say I've heard this advice recently or ever for that matter. So I'll definitely look into it. Sounds promising. While I'm at in I'll probably pick up a lottery ticket as well just in case the coins or baseball cards or Hummel collection doesn't work out.
Sunday, August 1
Media Blitz
Oh Dear Readers! I apologize for my lack of consistency. I know I said I didn't care about missed posts because I was "out living life" and though that may be true, I am committed to this blog project. After all I sincerely believe that if it weren't for the past 7 months of posting in this little forum, I wouldn't have some of the courage I have now to pursue some of the dreams I am pursuing.
I have been busy. As part of "branding myself" and creating an "online presence" and other business savy buzz words (synergy, synergy, synergy), I have been immersing myself in social media. So here's some of what I have to show for the work I've been putting in. It's a little crazy to think that while working at camp, I avoided my facebook like the black plague in order to maintain some sense of escapism from the real world. At points I even considered how nice it would be to close my account completely. My friend Jill just shut down her facebook and part of me was envious of her ability to cut ties with it. But instead I have swung in the opposite direction as I know have 5, count 'em 5, online sites to maintain. A little much to wrap my brain around, but the goal is for them to work together.
My facebook and this blog will remain for personal use. I think this blog will always hold a special place in my heart and though public I will still write vulnerably and honestly (and hopefully humorously) within these posts. I enjoy the freedom of being myself without fear of the image or "brand" I am presenting to the public. Not that the other sites are inauthentic, but I wouldn't discuss IBS stories on a work related site. If anything they're just more specialized and this site is a catch-all for all my random experiences and embarrassing or heart warming stories. If I didn't know me, this is probably the site I would want to read since it's the most genuine. It's people's honesty and open-booked-ness that I find most endearing.
So I've created HattieCummings.com to act as an online portfolio to host pictures and descriptions of events I've created for potential employers to peruse. I've linked a Tumblr blog onto my personal website to host event inspiration I find online and as a way to keep my web content fresh without having to update my website as frequently HattieCummings.tumblr.com. And I've bit the birdie bullet in the name of business: my Twitter handle is @HattieKCummings. For the record I've never been opposed to Twitter, I just never thought I'd have much to say from a personal standpoint. As a business and networking tool, I think it's awesome. These three things are stirring me creatively and that's always a good thing. A year ago I was still stifling myself and repressing my creativity. Now I feel it bubbling up and overflowing into places I never would have expected.
Thanks for your patience as I get back into the loop. Thank you for reading. Your comments both on the blog and in real life about a post I've written really do mean the world to me. It makes me feel like I matter to people, like people see me and love me and care about me, like I'm not alone. Thank you for giving me something so profound. Bonnie, thanks for reading and thanks for telling me you actually read.
I have been busy. As part of "branding myself" and creating an "online presence" and other business savy buzz words (synergy, synergy, synergy), I have been immersing myself in social media. So here's some of what I have to show for the work I've been putting in. It's a little crazy to think that while working at camp, I avoided my facebook like the black plague in order to maintain some sense of escapism from the real world. At points I even considered how nice it would be to close my account completely. My friend Jill just shut down her facebook and part of me was envious of her ability to cut ties with it. But instead I have swung in the opposite direction as I know have 5, count 'em 5, online sites to maintain. A little much to wrap my brain around, but the goal is for them to work together.
My facebook and this blog will remain for personal use. I think this blog will always hold a special place in my heart and though public I will still write vulnerably and honestly (and hopefully humorously) within these posts. I enjoy the freedom of being myself without fear of the image or "brand" I am presenting to the public. Not that the other sites are inauthentic, but I wouldn't discuss IBS stories on a work related site. If anything they're just more specialized and this site is a catch-all for all my random experiences and embarrassing or heart warming stories. If I didn't know me, this is probably the site I would want to read since it's the most genuine. It's people's honesty and open-booked-ness that I find most endearing.
So I've created HattieCummings.com to act as an online portfolio to host pictures and descriptions of events I've created for potential employers to peruse. I've linked a Tumblr blog onto my personal website to host event inspiration I find online and as a way to keep my web content fresh without having to update my website as frequently HattieCummings.tumblr.com. And I've bit the birdie bullet in the name of business: my Twitter handle is @HattieKCummings. For the record I've never been opposed to Twitter, I just never thought I'd have much to say from a personal standpoint. As a business and networking tool, I think it's awesome. These three things are stirring me creatively and that's always a good thing. A year ago I was still stifling myself and repressing my creativity. Now I feel it bubbling up and overflowing into places I never would have expected.
Thanks for your patience as I get back into the loop. Thank you for reading. Your comments both on the blog and in real life about a post I've written really do mean the world to me. It makes me feel like I matter to people, like people see me and love me and care about me, like I'm not alone. Thank you for giving me something so profound. Bonnie, thanks for reading and thanks for telling me you actually read.
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