Blog Slacking, Rejection, and the Job Search

At Monday night girls night I was wearing my glitter flats and was surprised when someone asked, "Are those the infamous glitter flats you blogged about?" After a self-indulgent venting session about the woes of the quote unquote f*@#$&% glitter flats, I realized two girls were reading the blog that I was unaware of. Validation through cyberspace never gets old. So after a text from Christy, a facebook message from Bonnie, and a comment from Kaitlin about her Google reader being a little empty, I'm mustering the strength to post again after my recent bout of laziness.

"So what's the happs?" you ask. Oh... just not landing a job. A month ago I interviewed for a job at an elementary school (thanks to the help of a wonderful YL parent). After reading the title of this post, you obviously know I didn't get the job. The mature part of me wants to trust that God has something else in store for me while the part of me bent on low self-esteem wonders what I said or didn't say in my interview enabling me to land the job. What's wrong with me that they don't deem me capable of supervising the cafeteria and playground? Am I not worthy to referee games of kickball or mediate food fights? Of course I know this isn't true; I'm just being honest about the thoughts of self-doubt that come with rejection. I sat in another interview a few weeks later for a secretarial position that carried much more responsibility with it than the elementary school position did. And I felt great. I went in there and did my best. I felt confident and proud of myself. No lasting trace of rejection from the week before.

However despite my renewed self confidence, the job search continues. I'm more confused than anything as to what my path is. I have two wonderful jobs already. I just need 40 hours of work each week. My boss at the wedding firm is really, really great and I am so excited for the time when I can work there full time. But I'm not there yet and I'm not sure what to do to earn a living in the meantime. That being said we have been extremely blessed by family and friends and Jesus during this time of reduced income. We aren't going hungry. In fact last night we enjoyed a home cooked dinner prepared by a YL parent. Enchiladas...our favorite dish she makes! A generous gesture that meant a lot to both of us. We may be a little stressed, but more annoyed by the fact that I can't buy as many clothes as I'd like. I also know that this can't keep up forever though and I'd like to contribute to my family (and society). In the meantime life is still good.