An In-Between Birthday

I swear I was not fishing for readers to comment on my post last night by saying that no one reads except for Greg. I hope it didn't seem like I was throwing a little pity party with my statement. I seriously could not believe that no one commented to make fun of me after divulging my embarrassing secret is all. Thank you for reading (and for telling me you read...that was very kind of you.)

So today was my birthday. It was very nice and I couldn't have asked for a better day all thanks to Daniel. He was thoughtful enough to take off work for the day even though I didn't ask for it off. Luckily my shift was just an "on call" and when I called in to see if they needed me they told me I wasn't needed. Perfect! We started off by surprising Daniel's dad at a Chamber of Commerce luncheon where he was named the Grand Marshall of Gladstone's Gladfest parade. It was a really sweet moment. Then we had lunch at The Farmhouse in City Market. Oh and I forgot to mention that when we got in my car this morning there was $5 on my windshield. At first I thought someone had hit my car and this was their "sorry" note. Is it horrible that my first instinct to something kind is that it is purely restitution for something bad? Then I thought maybe Daniel had put it there. Nope. So I'm not sure who the anonymous $5 is from, but it was fun and kind of exciting. I later spent that $5 to purchase cupcakes for me and Daniel from Baby Cakes after lunch. We headed home and I grabbed the book Daniel got me for a mid-afternoon read. Since we are adjusting to a new budget I am trying to save money where I previously would have spent without thought. As a result when the third and final book in the Hunger Games series came out, instead of purchasing it, I've been putting in time at the bookstore chipping away a chapter at a time. Daniel surprised me with the book at 12:01 last night knowing I would want to read it before bed. Now that I own it I get to read it whenever I want instead of when I have a spare hour to spend at the bookstore. So I read about 5 pages today before crashing for a cloudy day, post lunch nap. A birthday nap is the best kind of nap because you have no where to be and no one to tell you to get up because it's your birthday and people are usually pretty good about letting you do whatever you want on your birthday (like writing a run on sentence). We went to the West volleyball game to hang out with Young Life kids and then got ready for dinner. We went to Julian in Brookside. A friend from high school was our waiter and the food was just as great as the personal service.

I'm so grateful for family and friends who called, sent cards, sent text messages, and wrote on my facebook wall. (How great of an idea is the birthday reminder on facebook? Seriously every year I look forward to the online well wishes from friends. The cumulative effect of that many "happy birthdays" gives me the warm fuzzys.) I'm especially grateful for a husband who was thoughtful enough to take the day off work, take me out, buy me my favorite book, as well as the necklace that I try on every time I go into his store but never said anything about...he's good. Throughout the day he kept asking me what my ideal day would be. Because we love people questions like this usually end up being answered not by what we would do but rather by who we would be with. Trying to answer this question made me articulate the "in-between" stage I'm now in. We have lots of friends, but not one specific group we always hang out with. We have small groups of friends, but those groups aren't friends with each other. If I were to invite my friends to a dinner together I would be more concerned by everyone meeting one another and hitting it off with each other. During my ideal day answer I found myself listing off friends from college because this is the last time I remember us having so many mutual friends and being part of a group of people who all hung out together. I miss that. But I am 29 and some of my friends have kids and some do not. Some are married and some are not. Some live in the city and some live in the suburbs. Some go to church and some do not. This post college life stage looks different for everyone. In college everyone is in basically the same boat. After college there are so many more options like marriage, kids, career, dwelling and the time line varies for everyone. I have friends my age who are finished having kids and we haven't even started. I have friends my age who aren't dating anyone let alone married. This is an in-between stage. I wonder when or if it will level out again. At 40 is everyone suddenly in the same boat again? Probably not but who knows.

I like the diversity of my friends and our different time lines, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'd love to have a solid group to belong to again. I'm excited to see what this year has in store and at the core of that the people I will share it with and the relationships that will develop.

Family Photo Shoot

After yesterday's embarrassing post and only one comment from Greg, my suspicion has been confirmed: no one reads my blog anymore other than Greg. That's okay though.

I experimented today with my birthday camera. Here are some of my favorite shots.

Secrets

I've got nothin' tonight, but I can't go to bed until I post so here goes...

This summer at camp we use the tool of Post Secret for one of our presentations. This got me thinking as to what I would confess as one of my secrets. Well I've got a pretty embarrassing one and since I coached 5 others at camp through sharing intimate details about their lives, the least I can do is divulge something embarrassing. They shared hard parts of their story and this is something silly, funny, so it certainly doesn't compare to what I asked them to share.

Whenever I use a public restroom that is a single stall (so one toilet, sink, and mirror all in one room) I wonder if the mirror is a two-way mirror giving someone on the other side a view of the restroom and a view of those using it during their "vulnerable" state. Weird huh? Not sure where this came from, but every time I'm in a restroom like that I think about it. So there it is. Crazy I know.

New Camera

I got a new camera for my birthday so my family became my test subjects for the night. Toby did a fine, fine job.

Over the Hill

On Thursday I turn 29. Ugh. After age 25 I started grunting over birthdays. Most people think this is ridiculous. Maybe I'm clinging to my 20's for dear life because I spend so much time around people in their 10's (teenagers), so 30 and over seems really old to them. And yes I know I'm not turning 30 yet, but I'm one year closer. Most of my friends are in their 20's. Some of them in fact are quite younger like 23 and 24, but this doesn't seem like much of an age difference. However when they are 25 and I'm 30 that for some reason will seem like a big gap in age. I know this is totally psychological and ridiculous. I've just really enjoyed my 20's and am having a hard time becoming comfortable with this next stage of life. I mean now the kid conversation has to get discussed. I don't say "have to" like kids are a bad thing; age just pushes the topic a little more than having the freedom to casually discuss it in your 20's. I don't have any of that complex of, "This is not where I thought I'd be at 30. I was supposed to have a career and live in this size of house and drive this car and have this many kids." I am optimistic about my future and potential career opportunities. I knew I wanted to go on YL staff as early as age 20 and had a job lined up well before graduating college. Back then I never experienced that "undecided" time that a lot of my peers go through. I'm getting to experience that now as I continue my career transition. So I don't really care that I haven't established myself yet. I did that route for 6 years already and now I'm excited to in a sense reinvent myself or at least experience new and different career opportunities and play with the unknown. Maybe this is the right time for a little self discovery. Now that I'm more mature than I was at 22, maybe I'll approach this experience and time with more bravery, wisdom, and gratitude than I would have at 22.

I don't know. Maybe this fear of 30 comes from my embarrassment over people thinking I'm much younger than my actual age. At the high school people think I'm a student and at work people think I'm in college working my way through school. Imagine my red cheeks when I have to inform them that I'm 28 (soon to be 29) and have already worked one career for the past 6 years. "No, I'm not just starting out. Yes, I am indeed much older than you."

Well here's to 29. I guess I'll try to enjoy it while I can. Hopefully I'll have a change of heart a year from now and go all Oprah: you know celebrate joyfully like she did, "I'm turnin' 50 y'all!"

PS- Please don't tell me how ridiculous I am and how 29 isn't really that old and I should just wait till I turn 40 or 50. I know I am a head case.