Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

I got an email yesterday from MovieTickets.com offering advanced ticket sales for Eclipse. My first thought was, "How on Earth did they know to send this to me?" The second thought was, "Ooh, hooray!" I haven't enrolled in any MovieTickets.com automatic emailers and gmail is usually so good about filtering spam and any commercial emails, so I'm still not sure how this particular email made it to my inbox. Maybe Big Brother is monitoring my internet usage and knows that I frequent Twilight blogs like Eclipsemovie.org and do google searches of Robert Pattinson on a regular basis. I can't be too upset that they thought of me when sending out this particular emailer. I mean this advertisement is right up my alley. Of course I will be seeing Eclipse the day it comes out (despite the fact that I'll be working at a Young Life camp on the 30th; I've already made plans to take a trip into town that day to visit the local theater).

I've begun having Eclipse dreams which is a sure sign its release date is nearing. The other night I was in a cabin talking to Jacob and someone gave a threatening knock at the door. I phased into a werewolf at that point. It was pretty awesome. I woke up and can't remember much else that happened. For the record I am Team Edward, so it was a little strange that I took on wolf form as opposed to being transformed into a vampire.


Soon enough I'll see the third movie in the series and I'll surely leave the theater giddy and at the same time a little disappointed just as I have after the previous two. And despite my disappointment in the lack of quality and acting, the giddiness will overpower any lack luster performances and I will return to the theater a few more times. And when the Blu-Ray is released I will pick up a copy and pour over the special features. I will remain a fan, no matter how terrible the product is.

You Know You're Crazy When...

You know you're crazy when you have internal dialogues about what other motorists think about you having the same car as they do.

When I was driving today I spotted a black Volvo XC90 a few lanes away from me on the highway. The general flow of traffic sent me nearer and nearer to it until I was following right behind it. Then I started to feel awkward. Could they see me? Did they think it was weird that someone driving their same car was right behind them. Then it got worse and I had to pull next to them. Because of the slow car in front of me I ended up driving right alongside them for a good stretch of road. Did they notice me? Were they the type who is offended that someone else has their same model of car or someone who has an affinity for people who also drive XC90's? Do they see me as a comrade or as a nemesis? As soon as a new lane of traffic opened up, I sped toward it and took off as to place a comfortable distance between us and to end the internal dialogue I was having. I am a crazy person.

These People Make Me Want to Have Kids

One of my favorite shows this season is Bravo's 9 by Design with design duo the Novogratz and their 7, count em 7, kids. Their work is impressive as is the sheer number of younglings they have. They live in the gorgeous homes they build and their kids wrestle, play, and make a complete mess amidst their expensive art collection and designer furniture. I love how they don't sacrifice good design for fear of not being kid-friendly. They also don't sacrifice giving their kids freedom to be kids for fear that their beautiful belongings might get dirty or broken by all the roughhousing. They're hilarious and fun and true New Yorkers embracing diversity and exposing their kids to culture in every experience. A recent episode showed the baptism of their newest addition, baby Major, and it was an incredibly beautiful scene. A priest conducted the service outside on the patio at their home while surrounded by a hundred of their friends. Baby Major was passed around the guests who blessed him as he was handed from person to person. As I sat there watching I kept thinking, "This is what I want my community to look like." I don't want to have 7 kids, but these people make me want to have kids.




Last night we spent the evening with our friends Matt and Emily. We went over to visit their new baby girl and ending up staying for 5 hours, 4 of which I spent holding the new peanut or "chick chick" as she is lovingly called. Their two boys put on Tae Kwon Do demonstrations while wearing batman pj's with velcro detachable capes. When it was time for the frozen yogurt run, they changed into new outfits picked out all by themselves (though I was invited into the bedroom to consult as to which shirt I thought was best). The oldest came out wearing stripes, camo, and of course rain boots. We laughed a lot. Matt and Em get a real kick out of their boys' jokes and off hand comments. They genuinely like their kids. We talked about how their personalities are developing and what we think they'll be like when they grow up. Aside from loving their kids and loving the way they love their kids, I am struck by how they've maintained pursuing their dreams in the midst of parenting now 3 kids. Their lives and aspirations did not stop when they began having kids, nor did their relationships. They call the sitter and spend nights maintaining friendships and pursuing new ones. And their friends are also invited into their home life as well interacting with the kids. This is a delicate balance and they do it well. They love their kids, love each other, and love others; these people make me want to have kids.




Daniel and I have agreed that if we were to kidnap anybody's kids and flee the state, it would be Brad and Sam's girls. I don't just think their oldest is cute or funny, I don't just want to have a daughter exactly like her, I want to be her. From her perfect naturally wavy blonde locks, to her love for dogs (despite being bitten twice), to her brave spirit, she lives life the way I want to live it. Is it possible to look up to someone who is in elementary school? If so, I do. Brad and Sam are one of Daniel and I's very favorite couples. They are funny and kind and oh so very deep. Anytime we hang out I feel like we end up in very serious conversations, soul-bearing conversations. They have a hospitality anointing that puts you at ease to lay down your burdens. I have vented about some of life's heaviest stuff with these two. They are safe. I can't think of better characteristics to have as parents. They are incredible parents. I mean it. The last time Daniel and I hung out with them we left saying we've never seen it done better. It was extraordinary. They live on a college campus because of Sam's job and as a result their girls are surrounded by adoring students. I remember missing the sight of little kids during college because the population on campus consists of only 19-22 year-olds. The students pour over these two offering seats during dinner in the cafeteria and walks around the scenic campus. With all this attention from college kids, the girls don't act up at home. They are very mature for their ages, though still maintain the whimsy and imaginations of kids. Brad and Sam were the first people to articulate a truth that Daniel and I needed to hear before desiring kids of our own (eventually, at some point, read: not immediately). They talked about the possibility of moving to another country while their girls were still young and in school. This sounded backwards to me at first because I've always heard people talk about their dreams on the timeline of "once the kids are out of the house" or "once we're retired". Instead of waiting till their prime parenting years are finished Sam said, "We always pictured our kids as being part of the adventure." Woah. This was huge for me because I've always viewed kids as limiting my own adventure, getting in the way, an obstacle. This family understands that their experience of the world is actually enhanced by their relationships with each other. They view their family life as an adventure it and of itself and will continue to live adventurously in the world together; these people make me want to have kids.




I'm kind of a head case when it comes to thoughts of having kids and parenting, though I'm discovering more and more friends who also don't feel natural in this arena. That is not to say we hate kids and won't all be great parents, we just require a little more thinking and processing before jumping into parenthood. But these three families have provided good models for me and they share some common elements for making it work. They all have dreams, desires, and aspirations outside of just parenthood, but their kids are a part of their journeys and adventures. Their lives don't revolve around just their kids, but their lives are certainly enhanced and made sweeter (and more humorous) by the inclusion of their children; they enjoy all of life more because of their kids not in spite of them. They still know how to have fun and maintain healthy relationships and friendships while balancing parental responsibility. And they really, really like and enjoy their kids. So someday, at some point, these people make me want to have kids.

The Fred Factor

I drove through Starbucks the other afternoon and was entertained by the barista behind the speaker. I placed my order and he responded in an overenthusiastic tone commenting about how "the lovely ladies [he] works with each and every day will have that ready for you in a jiffy". I'm normally annoyed by comments like this, but he must have caught me at a good moment or maybe it was the cookie samples he offered me once pulling up to the window because I drove away thinking, "Wow he is really good at his job."

My boss is really good at his job too. He's just a pro. His role suits him perfectly. His staff adore him and consider him a friend, but that's just because he's such a quality person. What I'm talking about is when he's in his element. You can probably think of people like this too. They're just doing their everyday business, but it's like a light clicks on and they're in work mode. They're on. They communicate clearly navigating negotiations with calm confidence, operating with ease. They make work appear effortless. They're just naturals.

The Fred Factor is a business book telling the story of a mailman who goes above and beyond and is the best damn postman around. He works hard and enjoys his work. He fulfills his normal duties but also generously goes out of his way to serve his route by going beyond the everyday call of duty. I want to be a Fred. And a Starbucks Guy. And my boss Tom. As I begin thinking about a new job/career, I desperately hope that I can find something that suits me. A place where I'll joyfully brag about my co-workers as being lovely. A role where I'll appear natural, at ease, and with confidence. A job that I'll enjoy and want to go the extra mile to make a difference for people. I'm not looking for anything inparticular. I think it may take me a while before I settle into a new job for this season of life. I don't need it to be the end all be all of jobs. I'm not looking to save the world (besides I already attempted that with my last career path of full time ministry). I'm simply looking to do something well that meets the needs of others. A job in and of itself isn't always especially significant, but your performance inside of that role can be significant to people (like those on your mail route).

I have to confess as my end date with Young Life approaches and the real world awaits, I'm starting to become a little terrified again. I keep trying to picture life after July 15th and can't see anything. The blindness before was exciting and symbolized a world of possibilities. Now the blindness and uncertainty point more towards the nothingness of unemployment. It's bigger than bringing home a paycheck for me though. It's an identity crisis. What, who will I be? What's next? Who is next? I know we are not defined by our vocation, but it certainly makes up a lot of who we are. Who am I becoming? I'm ready for things to come into focus and finally see what the future has in store. I'm ready to be a Fred, but first I need an assignment.

Solar Babies Reunion Tour

Next Wednesday the Solar Babies will reunite for one night only. What are the Solar Babies you ask? Well it's only the name of our band! Well sort of. Every year Daniel and I lead the music for the end of the year All Kansas City Young Life club for all the metro school districts. Over the years we've had a handful of different folks help us out by playing bass, drums, etc. Nothing can beat last year's group though; we asked our friends Jordan and Aaron to help us. Solar Babies happens to be the name of a very obscure movie Jordan is a fan of and also the perfect name for a band, thus we were born.


I have rock star fantasies just like everyone else and once a year All City is my one chance to really indulge this dream. We get to play our favorite top 40 hits for as many as 500 high school kids for a giant sing along. Daniel and the boys have experienced this before because they have actual musical talent and have played in bands before. Jordan is actually quite the musician and is currently a member of Soft Reeds. (Sidenote: I was singing a new song at church one time and really liked it only to see the credits come up on the last slide where Jordan was credited. It's a pretty intimate experience to worship to a song written by your friend.) Despite my lack of any real musical ability, I can still live out my rockstar persona in this venue because no one can really hear me anyway.

Back in college when I was first leading Young Life, all the girl leaders were on a rotation to provide the female voice during songs at club. When my first night was up I hid in the storage closet when club began so that they'd have to start without me and replace me with someone else more willing. After club everyone asked where I had been and I fessed up to my extreme performance anxiety and was excused from any further musical obligation. You see I was in the gifted program during elementary and middle school, and the program's curriculum took the place of my music class. So most everyone else is used to singing in front of other people because they had to do it all through school every time they had a vocal test. I never had to do this and it became one of those things that became scarier the more and more removed from it I became.

So how did I go from keeping company with the broom and mop in the darkness of the storage closet to singing in front of 500 people? Later on in college when working at a Young Life camp I was approached by the camp director to provide the female voice for club each night. I was too flattered and afraid to say no, so I faced my fears and got on stage each night for one month that summer. Fear conquered. And now I LOVE it.

So come check out the Solar Babies reunion tour appearance next week. It's gonna be an awesome show.

Mama's Boy

The Man in Plaid, our new but already dear friend Max, recruited a handful of friends to write about their mothers for his blog. Daniel contributed a sweet writeup about his lovely mother Margaret, the best mother-in-law a girl could ask for. I'm grateful for her parenting skills and overall impact because so much of what I love about him is a result of her loving him well. He's a true mama's boy and after reading his words about her, you'll see that in this case that's a very, very good thing.

Below is Daniel's post with an all too kind intro from Max. Seriously Max is either the nicest guy on the planet or the best butt kisser ever. (Though I respond well to flattery, so it doesn't make a difference either way.)

Things My Mother Taught Me: Daniel Cummings

Daniel Cummings, men’s buyer for Standard Style in Kansas City, offered to write this after we had a conversation about our parents. Having only known Daniel a short time, I can already tell we’ll be friends for life. He’s an example of the kind of man I am working to become. He’s a humble, confident man. He’s a great husband to his wife, Hattie. Oh, and he’s three years younger than me.

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My mom has been a teacher for almost 40 years, a fact of which I am unbelievably proud. Needless to say, there’s no shortage of things she has taught me. She’s taught for so long because she believes it’s important. My mom grew up on a farm in rural Indiana, she raised my oldest brother on her own while working and going to school, and she is the most intelligent, unpretentious person I know.

She taught me that women are strong, that you’re not doomed by your circumstances, and that people are the most important things in our life. But more than anything she taught me to be myself and do what I love. More than titles and degrees, my mom is proud of the people my brothers and I have become (most of which is probably due to her).

When I walked out of my room in a hot pink bow tie and cummerbund as we headed to dinner for my sixth birthday (I also believe I was wearing cowboy boots) she didn’t flinch even though we were heading to one of the nicest restaurants in town, because to her my self-expression was more important than anything else.

I am who I am today, I wear what I wear today because my mom gave me the freedom to be just that: Me.

Stage Fright

People have been linking to my blog here and there and it's giving me a little stage fright. With Eminem's voice in my head chanting, "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. Opportunity comes once in a lifetime," I feel like I'm in a digital audition. (You know I can't pass up a good Eminem reference, him being such a inspiration of mine.) Knowing that new people are visiting the site is making me evaluate my entries. In the blog world, you're only as good as your last post, so what is the one post someone visiting may read. Was it an entertaining entry causing them to read on and give me a second and maybe even third chance? They may even be a gracious peruser and scroll through the entire screen's worth of entries. I can accept it if they discard me after that. If they read a week's worth of entries and judge it as crap, I can handle it. 7 entries should give anyone a pretty good idea of the tone of the blog and if it's not their thing I understand. If after 7 entries they think it's all crap, well then that's my fault. Please don't judge me on one entry; I'm allowed dull posts, but after 7...c'mon Hattie you better write something worthwhile.

I was jumping up and down last week because Dave Cullen author of Columbine commented on my post about the book. A real life writer stumbled across my quaint little online home thanks to a google search. Though I'm sure he only read the entry referencing his book, I started wondering who else has come across this blog and what did they find here? Oh God was it an entry talking about getting spooked and running out of my house for fear of an axe murdering intruder? Or worse...taxidermy (lame pictures of my husband posing with stuffed wild life from our hotel room). I get one entry to broadcast my point of view to the world, I better not get caught with my bad-grammar-pants down.

There are so many things wrong with this thinking. First of all the intention of this blog project was to expose myself despite my imperfections and general mediocrity, so why am I now retreating to performance mode praying to God that people like me, they "really really like me"? And second I was never going to write to cater to an audience. An audience is certainly more than welcome, but I wanted to post honestly, which sometimes means posts will be boring or stupid. Am I really looking for affirmation from a blog that was created to put my imperfections on display? Is this really my online attempt to fish for compliments whereby people tell me, "Actually Hattie you're not mediocre. You're brilliant, perfect even!". Bring out the therapist's couch, here we go again.

So to any of you visitors out there, hello and welcome to your first post. I promise there is some really good stuff worth reading somewhere in here. And if you don't like it yet try reading tomorrow. Seriously tomorrow is going to be really good. I actually have no idea what I'm writing about tomorrow, but I know you'll like me...no, IT, you'll like it, and me, you'll like me too. And to those of you faithful followers who are brave enough to display your little icon to the right side of the screen, thank you as always for staying so tried and true and for liking me, really really liking me. I like you too.