Since I don't have any income, well, in-coming, I haven't been spending any money on non-essentials. A lack of income is a very scary experience and something I am being forced to take very seriously. But I'm going to write today about the lighter side of this reality.
We were at the mall...step 1 of what not to do if you're trying to not spend any money. We actually had to go since Daniel needed to try on some pants he is wearing in our friends Beth and Jeff's wedding (hi Beth if you're reading). Forever 21 just opened their new gigantic location in this mall now making my number one clothing destination only 10 minutes from my doorstep. A lot of my friends make fun of my allegiance to Forever 21. They typically fall into one of two groups: group 1 views the store simply from the outside assuming that it contains only neon, sparkly, trashy, cheap college girl going-out-to-the-club clothing while group 2 is comprised of friends from the Standard world (the boutique my husband works at) who view Forever 21 as cheap, tacky, and full of bad knock offs and why would I need to shop outside of the gorgeous locally owned and operated fashion destination that I call family? (Let me plug this wonderful boutique to assert my loyalty before I continue on about my love for Forever 21.)
A large portion of my wardrobe is from Forever 21 and not to discredit the fine workmanship of other stores, but frequently people ask if my shirt or skirt came from J.Crew or Standard or one item imparticular has been mistaken for Marc by Marc on multiple occasions. When shopping there I am able to bypass the racks of too short skirts and locate the real gems and acquire items that help me to create a wardrobe I am proud of. Now that I've stated my defense for why Forever 21 is my main shopping destination, I'll continue my story.
So we're at the mall, I can't spend any money, and I find numerous items I would love to purchase. The problem was really two-fold though. Not only do I wish I could buy up each $9.80 shirt and $14.90 skirt and especially that oh-so-reasonably priced white blazer I've been looking for that runs for only $22.80, but maybe even more so, I wish I had somewhere to wear all of those clothes. All joking aside let me share my sadness.
Unemployment is hard on a lot of levels. I tried to prepare myself for this stage of in-between-ness, but it's hit me harder than I anticipated. The lack of purpose is a killer. I can't even begin to imagine the weight of this for those who have been laid off unexpectedly or who have been without a job for longer than a mere month. I'm just itching for this next stage of life to begin already. I'm feeling very impatient. I want to be a part of something bigger to give myself to. I want to join the rest of the working world as we labor together making things run. I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that the world is moving forward and everyday I'm not working I'm getting left behind.
Sorry to get so heavy there, but I really, really want to wear that Forever 21 white blazer with a crisp oxford and chic shorts, oh and my brown wedges, to an interview, or to do paperwork, to run and get someone else coffee, anything really. I don't want to get left behind while everyone else is working (and wearing cute clothes while they're at it).
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