Confession

I've been missing posts a lot recently...like last night. The past two times it's happened was because I fell asleep watching TV and the last thing on my mind was a blog post.

Last night I fell asleep while Daniel and I were watching Shaun of the Dead. It had to have been approaching 1am so there shouldn't have been any shame in falling asleep. But I think I still get embarrassed falling asleep in front of people, even my own husband, because I would wake up slightly to his laughter and then found myself laughing along too. This happened around 3 times and the final time he finally asked me, "Are you asleep?" At this point I woke up enough to realize what I had been doing: faking laughter while having no idea what was happening in the movie, but knowing that he was laughing, so in order to keep up the charade of awake-ness I was subconsciously urging myself to laugh along.

At camp me and Kate would watch the Bachelorette on hulu and one afternoon I couldn't seem to stay awake while lounging on my bed in our makeshift home theater. I would wake up at different points, hear one of the guys make a comment, and then ask a question that made absolutely no sense. Kate, in her kind manner, would stare at me confused and then try to explain what was happening. Realizing I had just spoken while half asleep, my embarrassment would kick in and I'd scramble trying to justify why I had just asked the most random of question, all the while hoping she wouldn't know I had fallen asleep.

Where does this embarrassment come from? Why am I afraid to let people see me fall asleep at odd (or even not so odd) times? I'm weird.