Loving Like You Have Cancer

Whenever someone begins following my blog I look at what other blogs they read since we probably have similar taste. Thus I stumbled across an incredible story of a new mom diagnosed with cancer. (Thanks Randi.) I think the word "cancer" jumps off the page whenever I see it now since last October, so when I saw the title of the blog "Don't Waste Your Cancer" I clicked on the link immediately. After reading the introduction I went back to the first entry in order to read the story from its start.

Libby Ryder's story hits a little too close to home. She's in her mid 20's and she and her husband are "Young Life people". He's a area director in Virginia. They have a little daughter who is only a few months old. In July Libby was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Cancer always seems like a tragedy. No one ever deserves it, but it seems more cruel in certain stories like a brain tumor in a three year old or lymphoma in a 26 year old new mom. Libby's story is a compelling read and she never comes across as a victim despite the cruelty of her situation. I love reading because home-girl is honest, like really honest. Her faith is evident in each entry and it's authentic. None of the sugar-coated, cliche things people say to you when they're on the outside of cancer trying to make you feel better. She's honest that cancer sucks, but that God is still good. She's honest about her belief that God is in control even when we can't understand his ways and at the same time that cancer is painful and she gets lonely and sad sometimes. And that's okay.

There's a million reasons why I admire her and respect her, but the thing that is challenging and encouraging me is her relationship with her husband. Man they really love each other. And not love like just feeling affection for each other, but the important love. The doing love. Love as an action. I'm learning in my life that I can feel love for Daniel and that's great, but if that feeling never manifests itself in my behavior it doesn't really mean much. If I'm not treating him like he's important to me, making sacrifices where I need to, or growing as a teammate. Daniel is an awesome partner, but I'm embarrassed to say that I haven't been the most loving teammate I can be.

Libby and her husband love well. In the midst of cancer she continues to make him a priority never expecting him to be at her beck and call. Though when he does come home from work early and care for her in different ways, she accepts it gracefully and gratefully. And he writes her letters on her blog. He speaks of being humbled by her strength. And she's the first to say that they're not perfect. Her honesty about that is perhaps the most encouraging because it means you can fight with each other or not get along at all times, and STILL love each other well.

When I was reading months worth of entries in a single sitting I found myself so inspired that part of me was foolishly wishing for cancer. I envied their perspective and passion gained from this earth shattering event. But my family has been there before and then I remembered how I never want to go through that initial shock again. Then I felt guilty for forgetting how grateful I should be and how I've begun to take things for granted again and become consumed by pettiness. It shouldn't take something like cancer to make me grateful for my life, family, and my husband. I shouldn't have to get sick to realize how wonderful Daniel is and to start living in that reality. I want to stop taking him and his love for granted. Even though the stakes aren't as high as they would be in the face of cancer, I want to live like they are. I want to love like I have cancer. I want to love like Libby does.

You can follow her inspiring journey here.