Have Dental Anxiety?

I hate the dentist. Well let me be specific, I don't hate the actual dentist. In fact I really like my dentist. He is the same one I've gone to since a kid and lives down the street from my parents. He's very laid back and funny and even plows the street for all the neighbors when there's a heavy snow. What a guy! I don't even mind the hygienists or the office clerks. Kay at the front desk is a family friend and remembers me by name after all these years. Despite these friendly faces, I loathe going to the dentist.

Before a month ago I had not been to the dentist in many, many years. I am so ashamed of how long it had been that I will not tell you exactly how long. Think multiple years and then multiply that. It became one of those fears that perpetuates itself the longer you avoid it. The more time passed the worse my situation became as I feared the number of cavities and tartar I was accumulating.

I have a bad front tooth that came in with a crack down the front of it. Since this permanent tooth made its appearance, it has undergone multiple repairs and fillings until I was old enough for a more long term solution. By the time I was old enough, I was no longer a regular at the dentist office, and no longer on my parent's payroll. The most recent filling was discolored and I was starting to notice it in pictures. Still no visit to that fated electric chair. (Seriously, doesn't anyone else see the alarming coincidence that the chairs there are electric? Really? Too busy being lulled to sleep by the easy listening music station? Not me! I'm fully aware of the torture about to ensue.) A few years back, the filling chipped. You guessed it, still no visit.

Well something got into me, maybe it was the thought of entering the work force wanting to put my best foot/tooth/smile forward in job interviews. Maybe it was divine intervention. Who knows where the courage to make the appointment came from, but the important thing is I made it. I called 30 minutes before the office closed ready to schedule a visit in the coming weeks. I thought that's how it worked, always booked solid right? Wrong. "How's tomorrow morning for you?" Gulp. "Sure." I had planned on preparing over the next two weeks through visualization, meditation, and rational thinking. But I figured instead of letting myself get worked up (because that is what would really happen during my preparation time), I decided to just get it over with.

Over the past month and a half I have visited the dentist 4 times and have one final appointment in two weeks. I guess these 5 appointments will make up for all the years I skipped out on my oral hygiene. My first appointment was tense. He asked why I had been away so long and I poured out my sometimes too honest heart to him. He must have dealt with this before because he went into therapist mode validating my anxiety, trying to pinpoint the source of my fear, and asking me what he could do to make it easier on me. Something must have been written in my file at that point because every following appointment began with the hygienist walking me through the day's procedures and being extra sensitive when inquiring about how I was feeling.

The second appointment was the worst. Two fillings and a whole lot of drilling. That sound, oh that horrid sound. It literally makes my palms sweat just hearing the buzzing going on a few chairs down from me. I was still having sensitivity during some of the "mining" and so they shot me up again trying to numb me to oblivion. (The extra numbing was a request I had made when asked what could be done to ease my fear. I don't mind the shots at all.)

The third appointment was just as terrifying as the second, but not painful. This was the big one. To repair my bad front tooth we decided on a veneer and one for the neighboring tooth in order to ensure the teeth match one another. This process involved sanding away my two front teeth to mere stubs in order to make room for the veneers to fit over. I promised myself I wouldn't look at them in the mirror and tried to avoid exploring the damage with my tongue. I got curious though and felt around. Feeling a huge gap between my front teeth was horrifying. They installed a temporary piece while creating my permanent fixtures in the lab. After the appointment I had Daniel feel how I had soaked through the back of my shirt from sweating in the chair. I forgot to take anxiety pills before the visit, not that it would have made a difference since they seemed to have no effect on the suffering during appointment #2.

Appointment #4- today, painless. The new teeth look great and I'm almost done with my dental marathon. I will return in two weeks to pick up my night guard to protect my teeth from all the grinding I do in my sleep. (Yet another by-product of anxiety: teeth clenching and grinding. I even have to use Sensodyne toothpaste because of constant tooth aches from the wear and tear. Just add it to the list with IBS. Wait for my entry on stress related acne coming in a few weeks as I visit the dermatologist. Exciting stuff! Ground breaking journalism.)

So thank you to the staff at my friendly neighborhood dentist.

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