The Boys Club

Today's post I wish I could just copy and paste, but no I will create something new.

My training in Dallas in complete and in a few short hours I will hop on my 4am shuttle to the airport and head home. It's been a really great time getting to sit under some incredible teachers and hang out with YL friends from around the country (especially the great staff from the fine state of Minnesota). It was an interesting week though for a number of reasons. For example for the past 3 days I have experienced what it is to be a minority. As the conference began I looked around the room and had a hard time spotting many other females. I just talked to my roommate to compare stats and we think there were a total of 400 attendees and only about 25 of those were women. I happened to be sitting next to my friend Lamar, who is black, during the first session and said, "You don't realize what it's like to be the minority until you are the minority. This must be how you feel all the time!" He agreed. It was weird. I got used to it, but still longed for more women to sit with, laugh with, and just feel comfortable to be female. Young Life is a great organization and a mission that I believe in and feel intense loyalty to, so these comments are not a knock on them. But just like most ministry, its leadership is dominated by men. Just a fact, good or bad, it's just the reality. I sat in class and stared at the backs of the heads of men...all men. Young Life paid staff is a boys club.

I don't think it makes it hard to stay in Young Life knowing that it is dominated by men, in fact it makes it harder to leave! The female models we have in senior leadership and veteran leadership positions are incredible women. They are some of the most encouraging, strong, and cool ladies I've ever had the chance to be around. I want to be like them. I want to be to younger girls what they have been to me. But I feel bad even considering leaving Young Life because that's one less of us. I feel like I'd be letting other women down. I know that's not true, but us "survivors" feel really compelled to stick around just to prove that we can and that there is a place for women in YL leadership. (The number of women who begin on YL staff is fairly close to the number of men, but since they leave staff sooner than men there's a massive drop off in the number of women in long term leadership positions.) I don't want to stay on staff just to be an example to others if I'm not called to it for the long term. God's not asking me to stay just purely as an example. There will be a day I will leave and I need to come to reconcile with the guilt I anticipate from this decision. It's hard being a girl in the boys club.