You Know You're a Perfectionist When...

You know you're a perfectionist when you'd rather be a part of a devastating traffic accident than be late for work.

I had to be at work at 8am today and I didn't add in enough time to my commute to accommodate rush hour. As a result I was 2o minutes late. I.was.mortified. Ugh it was horrible. I was so embarrassed. In the Grandview Triangle, the intersection of all southern KC highways, I sat in standstill traffic atop an overpass that had undergone major repairs this summer. A portion of the highway was removed and repaved after a sink hole developed and the roadway was damaged. We (Kansas Citians) were actually very lucky that the pavement showed signs of distress before any real damage occurred because they were able to block off that lane so no one was driving on that part of the road when it did collapse slightly a few days later. So back to this morning...there I was sitting on the sink hole repaired road, staring at my clock begging the minutes to stop advancing as my lateness tick-tocked away. I hate being late. That doesn't mean I'm not frequently late, but work is different, especially when at a new job still establishing myself as a trustworthy, dependable employee. The dread of facing my disappointed employer overcame me, my perfectionism and anxiety swirled around me creating the perfect storm producing this crazy thought, "Maybe if the overpass collapsed and I was part of the major accident as my car fell into the traffic below, then I'd have a reason for being late and they probably wouldn't be mad at me." I weighed the pros and cons of a tragic, devastating accident rather than deal with facing the consequences of my lateness. A little excessive I think, but this is a glimpse into my panicked brain. Welcome, it's crazy in here.