Radio Companions

When I got in my car this afternoon I was hoping to listen to a little Fresh Air on NPR, but was disgruntled when I heard these words, "So call in now or you can even give online. Our number is...". Oh boo! It's KCUR's spring pledge drive. I hate pledge drive season and not because I miss out on all my favorite public radio programming. That certainly is annoying, but actually sometimes they'll play highlights from old shows as a kind of highlight reel of the best of the best. So in reality if you tune in at the right time you can catch better programming that you would have during a normal week. But that's if you're lucky and even then they'll interrupt right in the middle of it to "break away" for a pledge update. So yes this is annoying, but the reason I despise the pledge drive is because of the extreme amount of guilt I feel.

The line that is always the kicker for me is, "How long have you been mooching off of the donations of others who make this free radio possible for you?" Ugh. Mooch. You cut me deep KCUR. You cut me deep.

NPR has been a reliable companion for me over the years. It all started with grabbing my news from All Things Considered on my way home from work back in college. Then I listened to the Food Critics and movie reviews on the Walt Bodine Show during my mid morning commute when I used to live in Overland Park. Fresh Air always has the best guests and I can catch it on my way back from West after visiting Young Life kids afterschool. I will often sit parked in my car outside my house listening to the end of the interviews. Saturday morning errands mean America's favorite quiz show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me or if I'm up early enough I'll giggle along to Car Talk. And when I'm driving home from downtown after a late night out I'll always turn on the BBC news to help keep me awake.

Certain shows serve as markers for different periods in my life. And the radio personalities with their unique and ethnically diverse names have become old friends. Michele (Me-Shell) Norris, Guy Raz, Kai Ryssdal: seriously though what ethnicity are these people? Part of the reason I've become attached to the anchors themselves is because 98% of the time I'm in my car by myself IF my radio is even on, it's tuned to NPR. The other 2% is silence. (Sometimes music agitates me so I prefer to sit in quiet. Blame it on the anxiety rather than me being weird.) And out of that 98% I'm probably only paying attention 42% of the time (these are very precise figures). I find extreme solace in the soothing voices reporting the world's events. It's like having a therapist or a librarian or a yogi speaking to you non-stop. It's not what they say, but how they say it. No matter the content or issue at hand, the tone is always the same: serene, peaceful, rocking me slowly and gently to a place of relaxation. Most people make fun of their soft spoken and passive inflection, but for me it's like having a hypnotist riding shotgun. It's a lot like turning the TV on at home to provide background noise. You're not really watching it while you work in the other room, but it breaks up the quiet and somehow keeps you company. This is exactly what my NPR friends provide for me...companionship.

So my guilt associated with the pledge drive comes not as much from taking the quality programming for granted as it does from betraying my dear friends. Their livelihoods are dependent upon the donations of others benefiting from their efforts. I of all people understand this as I work for a non-profit and my salary comes from charitable contributions. Maybe because I understand it so well is why it stings to think about what I'm doing to my radio companions. They have gotten me through my morning commute, my afternoon errands, and my mid-day stress when I just needed Steve Kraske's mid-western accent to calm my frazzled nerves. And then there's all those late night drives home. If it weren't for my British pals across the Atlantic, I could have fallen asleep at the wheel. Who's to say they haven't had a hand in preserving my life?

So what is my life worth? $15 a month? $25 a month? A flat $100 donation? Beyond guilt this pledge drive is causing me to have a full on existential crisis. I'm sure my smooth talking radio friends would never want me to fret like so. I'm sure they forgive me. I'm sure they'll still be there for me regardless of my pledge or lack thereof. They have always been there for me in the past (minus the few hours of symphony music); why should I doubt their reliability now? Thank you dear friends