Being the Bad Guy

One of the hardest parts of being a leader is having to make tough and sometimes unpopular decisions. Most people know what it's like to disagree or have a difference of opinion with a coworker or peer. But only those in a position of authority understand what it is to bear the weight of the decisions you make on the behalf of those you lead. Parents for sure understand what this is like, but I'm assuming the backlash from your children though annoying, doesn't sting as much as it does in a non-familial relationship.

Since my days in college I've gradually had to grow a thicker and thicker skin. It's easy to talk leadership theory and strategy in a vacuum, but the minute you try to actually take a group of people to a new place, your plans aren't usually easily enacted. This summer will mark 2 years for me as the Area Director for Lee's Summit Young Life. During these past two years I've faced more criticism than in any other leadership position. I'm assuming this is the way it works. As you move up the ladder of authority so to speak, there are less people for others to blame. And when it comes to criticism...well the buck stops at you. The past few weeks, especially this one inparticular, have been a series of me having to be the Bad Guy. I hate this. But in most cases they have been pretty common sense situations where the decision was clear. They just happened to make me extremely unpopular with those on the other end. My conviction is strong and I know in each circumstance I did the right thing. This doesn't mean that I didn't take time to think through each decision and ponder each side.

I find it helpful to remember past criticisms when I'm feeling especially disliked. Being removed from the verbal assaults by a few years allows me the time and distance needed to laugh at them now. I'm sure in a year or so I'll laugh about the attacks I am ensuing now...hopefully. I could go into a whole, more spiritual, commentary about the power of words and how the negative ones stick with you so be careful what you say because you may be wounding someone on a deep level, yada yada. But I find it more fun to laugh (or cry) at myself instead. So here's to some memorable quotes!

"I can't believe you're taking over. This is just like it was in the Bible with Israel: one bad king after another. I didn't like him (former authority) and I don't like you. It's going to be terrible all over again."

• Ah the reference-scripture-attack...very spiritual.

"You have no character. I've lost all respect for you. " (followed by slew of cursing)

• No messing around there. Pow! Right to the kisser.

(Sent about me to my human resources department) "She has made a terrible decision and as a result our children will no longer attend Young Life and we will no longer support her or the ministry."

• I've offended them so badly they took it to the national level. Awesome.

"You're such a loser. You hang out in the stands with all of us like you're still in high school. You're too old to do that. You're a creeper."

• The spurned-high schooler who once liked it when I conversed with him during games.

"F*@# Young Life."

• I like it. Simple, straight to the point.

Seriously though have you ever been cussed at, had doors slammed in your face, had your character attacked, had someone who once liked you suddenly decide they hate you all because of a decision you made? It sucks and I'm sorry if it has happened to you too. It really does hurt..a lot. Some of these comments haven't stopped hurting yet. The wounds are still open. I'm not calloused to them. But I'm still standing so I guess that counts for something.