In Sickness and in Health...and in Loss of Alliteration

Daniel started in on one of his if-you-died-here's-what-I-would-do conversations again tonight. I say again because yes this happens semi-regularly. It usually involves what his grieving process would be like, what city he would move to, and what celebrity crush he would go on to marry. Tonight he turned the tables by coming up with a plan for me if I were the one finding myself widowed. And then he addressed another issue. He said he wanted there to be a clause in his will that allowed me to divorce him if he were in a vegetative state. I said I would never leave him if he were still alive (I mean how bad would I look if I divorced my husband just because he was completely incapacitated? "You're comatose and therefore no longer any use to me...goodbye.")

I told him that I was committed to him in sickness and in health. I've already proven my commitment to him by giving up something that I held near and dear to me for 25 years: my gorgeous, catchy, alliterating name. I had a great maiden name, Hattie Hogan. What a ring it has to it! People would often comment on how well my parents named me. The only negative comment I ever heard was that it sounded like a cartoon character, but that actually only proves how catchy it is...was. Tear.

I knew I would always take my husband's sir name, no matter what it was. I know it isn't right for every woman, but for me it was an important thing to do. It was a way for me to show my commitment, loyalty, and pride in belonging to this particular someone. When people hear my last name, I want them to associate me with my partner. This all sounds very noble right? I must confess that though I wanted to take his name, this was by no means an easy thing to do. On the deep level it meant giving up some of my independence, identity, etc. But at a basic, selfish level it meant giving up my alliteration.

In the back of my mind I always held onto the thought that if someday I ever wrote or did anything in the public eye, that I would use my maiden name. From a business stand point this is simply the smarter choice. If a reader is looking for an author in the bookstore, Hattie Hogan is much easier to remember than Hattie Cummings. This isn't to elevate one name above the other, it's simply a wise marketing choice that's all. I ran across my maiden name in some old journal or notes from college and it stuck out to me. The truth is that's not me anymore. It's a cute name (a really, really cute name). But my identity is Cummings now. It has been for quite a while. I'm not sure I can articulate it, but my second name suits me better now somehow.

At least I think it does.

In memoriam of my alliteration, let's grieve alongside some other fine women who entered into marriage vowing allegiance to their spouses in sickness and in health, and in loss of alliteration.

Allie Andrews (Statler)
Beth Benzinger (Morris)
and quite possibly the best alliterating name ever...Carly Kiick (Roach)

To the Kelly Klings, Mandi Morrows, and Addie Alexanders of the world, enjoy your gift while you still can.

And to the women who through marriage are able to gain the gift of alliteration, well congratulations. May you always be grateful for this gift and steward it well in honor of those that came before you in maiden-hood and as we forsook all others also forsook our alliteration.