Buyer's Remorse and Other Perils of Caffeine Sensitivity

I spent the day working from the Barnes and Noble cafe on the plaza where I enjoyed a delicious Starbuck's Chai Tea Latte. I'm not a coffee drinker, but have found a friend in Chai, and even that I don't drink very frequently. So when my body gets a dose of caffeine it can result in some serious side effects.

Caffeine is not recommended for those who suffer with anxiety as it can agitate an already "jittery" feeling. About an hour after consuming my beverage the side effects kicked in. At first it feels like an adrenaline rush, all is right with the world, everything is amplified (sounds, colors...I promise I'm not talking about ecstasy here, just tea). I had my head phones in so music only increases this adrenaline rush effect. Then comes the crash: shortness of breath, the jitters, racing heart (at least it feels like it's racing). Again I promise I'm not talking about ecstasy, though coming down from a high certainly sounds similar to what describing.

So I take deep breaths, turn off the music, drink some water, get some food in my stomach and try to convince myself that I don't need to rush outside to pull any cars off of old ladies trapped beneath. It's a little like an Incredible Hulk episode only Hulk not angry, Hulk just caffeinated and crazy.

A few years ago I was shopping with my friend Brea at Standard's warehouse sale and consumed a latte prior to our trip. I left the sale with a few purchases, spent a moderate, but perfectly acceptable amount of money, and found myself experiencing the most severe buyer's remorse. "I don't need this stuff. I'll never wear this. I can't take it back...final sale...FINAL...FOREVER...NOOOOO!" I had no idea where this panic was coming from and Brea pointed out that I just seemed a little over-caffeinated. Oh was that all? It was indeed. I came down from my jittery state and the buyer's remorse subsided.

This caffeine induced guilt does occur frequently for me, but that adrenaline rush, though temporary, feels so good. I'm sure heroine feels good too before you crash and burn, but you don't see me reaching for it. Maybe I need to rethink the Starbucks, but I'm sure it's fine. I can quit anytime I want to.