Ongoing

I hate that I haven't finished strong in this the 4th quarter of this year long project. I just can't seem to muster up the desire to post each day. And yes as much as I've overcome perfectionism, irregular posting still bothers me. Maybe I'm just in a Debbie Downer mood. Today was a rough day and not because anything particularly difficult occurred. I felt like my old sick self. It felt/feels more like an episode or attack as opposed to just an undercurrent of anxiety though. It really caught me off guard. I still am not sure what I'm feeling anxious about. I sat and prayed and journaled to try and confront what was/is behind all of my tension and irritability. I can't put my finger on anything specifically. Maybe it's just a culmination of a bunch of little things. Maybe I just hit a wall in the midst of this ongoing season of uncertainty. I think the reason I'm documenting my feelings today is just to see that it's 12 months since I started this thing and bad days still come and go. There have been many fewer bad days than there used to be, but like many struggles, anxiety may be something that for me is managed as opposed to eradicated completely. Here's to a new day tomorrow.