The Joy and Loss of Graduation

Yesterday we watched our YL kids graduate from West and then volunteered at Project Grad (an all-night event for the graduating seniors). I knew there was going to be a hypnotist there and was more excited about that than anything else. Some of the moms knew of my excitement, so they relieved us from our post early so we could be sure to catch the entire show. It did not disappoint. After I stopped being cynical and was completely convinced of its authenticity, I was giddy with laughter and amusement. A few of the kids we know well were up front as volunteers. Knowing them so well helped me to realize how genuine their performances were. The highlight for sure was an exchange between one kid who believed himself to be a Martian only capable of speaking Martian-ese, our YL kid Hartzell who thought himself the interpreter, and a girl who performed sign language translating the conversation.

As the hypnotist spoke into his cordless mic that was mounted on a neck brace harmonica style (I still have no idea why he didn't use a more discreet lapel mic, but to each his own), he asked the audience for volunteers and though these kids just completed the rite of passage into adulthood of high school graduation, they jumped up and down raising their hands like an elementary class of eager students. As the selected volunteers up front went deeper and deeper into their trance, they seemed more and more vulnerable...and innocent. It was kind of weird to watch as I witnessed normal adolescent guards and walls of protection disintegrate. I don't know if any of the other adults in the room noticed this lack of hardness and tough too-cool exterior. They were just kids being kids. And after this summer they'll be thrust into the next season of life. For some this season will include college and for others the work force, both pseudo adult worlds, but certainly more adult than high school. Daniel always comments on this fact that just because they turn 18 and graduate high school, we throw them into college and treat them like they're adults while they're still just kids in many ways. I think he's very right and we need to do a better job of shepherding these young adults during this time of transition.

When I wasn't giggling at the shenanigans taking place on stage, I was looking around the room at the faces of the other graduates. They were craning their necks while sitting indian style on the floor trying to get a better view of the volunteers. They too appeared younger and more innocent while congregated on the floor. I recognized a lot of the faces. We got the pleasure of getting to know a lot of them very well through Young Life. The senior guys were the group Daniel has been focusing on over the last three years, so many of them have sat in our living room on the very couch I sit on now while typing away. They will return to our house over the years and remain life long friends and always old Young Life kids even as they grow into their 20's. Some of the other faces I had never seen before. We only have a handful of leaders and do our best to meet as many kids at West each year as we can, but we can never meet them all. The faces that made me sad were the ones that I used to know. These are kids who I got to know their freshman and sophomore years and for whatever reason, lost touch with. This happens every year and graduation is always a bit of a bittersweet experience for this reason. Graduation can feel so final. And I'm not sad because I think kids are hopeless without Young Life. Most of them will be just fine. They have churches, families, and friends who love them and will continue to care for them. I'm sad because their names are written in my journal making up prayer lists of kids I'd like to get to know better. Most of their names stayed on that get-to-know-better list though and never moved to the more specific lists where I was invited into their lives to pray for things like being dumped, going through their parents' divorce, or celebrating making Varsity. I'm sad because I always feel like I missed out on sharing four years with another funny, sweet, talented, great kid. What's ironic is that some of the kids who we lose touch with over the years are the ones who I'll hear "hate Young Life" now or are annoyed by YL leaders. If only they knew that their names are written in my journal and that I prayed for them as they walked across the graduation stage and that I regret never getting to share some of high school's most precious moments with them.