1. First we have a fake leather biker vest. Some faux leather is able to maintain a good texture and look. This vest did no such thing. It looks like plastic, it feels like plastic, it sounds like plastic when it moves. Then there's the fact that it's a biker vest. I don't need to expound on that; it speaks for itself. The story behind this particular faux pas was that my friend was wearing one (real leather, less biker-y tailoring, she's hot) and I thought I could pull one off as well. Wrong. In fact I had already spent that month's clothing allowance and was able to still get the vest after winning a bet with Daniel. Though I won the bet I think I'm somehow really the loser if this was my reward. PS-Never wore it. Not.Even.Once.
2. Second item: Stiches jeans. These were awesome when I first got them! Flare leg, white stitching, distressed pocket. The skinny jean has been a wonderful trend for me as this old flare fit makes me look shorter and wider and other negative adjectives.
3. Outfit number 2, item number 3: Let's stick with the denim discussion and observe these glorious True Religions. Fergie sang about them, Blonde-goers were all wearing them (if you don't know what Blonde is that's because it's hay day ended back in '08, thus the dated-ness of the jeans), they were the hotness. Teenagers and apparently other people are still into them because Plato's Closet will buy them from you every time. True's in the closet = cash on the spot. They've just been sitting on the shelf begging to be cashed in like a winning lottery ticket.4. Item 4: Fake BAPE hoodie. Where does one get a hoodie like this perfect for hip hop dancing? The answer is Bannister Mall. What's that Bannister Mall was torn down a year ago...again just proving my argument. If the establishment that you purchased your clothing from doesn't exist anymore (and it's not vintage) then you probably shouldn't be wearing it. I didn't even pay the sticker price for it because apparently at all the shops at Bannister Mall you barter. I felt like I was in Jamaica at the market negotiating over the price. Weird.
I have very mixed feelings about Plato's Closet because so much rejection is involved. You take in bags worth of clothing, some items are designer that retail in the $100 range, all my jeans retailed for over $200, and suddenly the power lies in the hand of the salesgirl yielding a calculator wearing a pair of used denim. I do not mean to mock employees of Plato's Closet, I'm just trying to paint the picture of the villain or adversary in the story to demonstrate what it feels like when you're the one putting your clothes, fashion sense, style, and overall worth up on the chopping block for Susie salesgirl to deem cool or uncool. Almost every time I've been sent home with designer items like J Brand jeans (worn by celebrities) while my Hollister and American Eagle tops get swiped up immediately. I've come to expect that they will want the tackiest stuff in the pile. One time we took in a paisley polo that Daniel used to wear for YL's event Tacky Prom. He didn't want to because it can be embarrassing to submit such hideous items, but of course they bought it, while turning down much more classic articles of clothing I might add. They know what sells. I can't knock their hustle. It's not their fault but rather the people consuming the product.
I left with $53.10 today. A big day. I have walked away with only $7 before. Did you know rejection has a numerical value? It's $7. That's like pity money, "We didn't want to just return all of your clothes to you, so here's $7...loser." That's what it feels like when someone goes through a pile of your clothes and says, "Thanks, but no thanks." It's like you're offering your hand me downs to a kid sister or friend and she doesn't even want them. "So what when you said I looked cute that one time you were lying? Cause now I'm offering you the outfit and you don't want it?"
Plato's Closet and I have a better relationship these days. We understand the dynamic better. We would never be girlfriends. We wouldn't go the same places, hang out with the same people, wear the same things. But we have a mutual respect for each other. I know how to play the game. I won't be embarrassed about showing you the pink satin baby doll dress I used to wear because I know that you'll buy it from me. And I won't feel so wounded when you turn down my DVF skirt because I realize that you don't even know that's a designer label. Who's the more fashionable one now PC? Sure we'll talk bad about each other behind backs, we'll sneer at each other from afar, but at the end of the day it'll go down just like a drug deal. I'll supply you with clothing that is hazardous to one's health, feeding an addiction for the cheap and tacky, and I'll get paid. It may be dirty money earned by peddling my fashion mistakes thereby enabling others to commit fashion crimes of their own, but it's still spends the same. (I literally hear Clipse in my head right now rapping, "dirty money, dirty money". Maybe I need to pull out that hip hop hoodie and start rocking it again.)
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