Project 365 Week 3 and 4

I am posting my pictures for weeks 3 and 4 of Project 365 and in the spirit and tradition of imperfectionism celebrated on this blog, you'll find a number of days missing. But hey it's better to have some days than no days.

1/15/2011- Missed this day.

1/16/2011- Daniel was traveling in NYC so I indulged my bachelorette side with a few chick flicks and ice cream. My picture was of the movies Valentine's Day and Killers and the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream I was eating. The next day I got a new phone and this picture was left behind on the old phone.

1/17/2011- I love Monday nights. I get together with a group of really fun and funny gals each week for Monday Funday. We are currently watching the Bachelor (my personal fav). On the 17th we celebrated Emily's bday at Monday Funday.

1/18/2011- A typical night before falling asleep: cuddling with pups and reading. I just finished The Help as part of my goal for 2011 of reading a book a month this year.

1/19/2011- I accidentally said something about Daniel to Toby. Toby recognizes the word "daddy" (we're weird obsessive dog parents I know okay) and began looking at the door awaiting Daniel's arrival even though he wouldn't be home for another day. Like a real sad sack Toby sat on the couch and stared at the door the rest of the night.


1/20/2011- In the midst of another snow storm, we had a sunny afternoon and this dog was enjoying the weather while we sat at a stoplight.

1/21/2011- We went to the YL leader retreat down at Lake of the Ozarks. As soon as I laid down in bed I realized I hadn't taken a picture for the day. Whoops.

1/22/2011- Daniel before leading a YL team meeting. He wasn't really using those giant notes (they were there from a previous seminar). It's fun seeing him in teacher mode though. He'd be great in the classroom if he ever chose to teach.

1/23/2011- While working a bridal fair we were visited by a fellow vendor. Who wouldn't want to hire a magician for their reception? I do love the genuine surprise on Lindsay, my fellow consultant's, face.

1/24/2011- ? Apparently I missed this day.

1/25/2011- This was the sign Toby made for Daniel coming back from NYC the week before. Also though Daniel's not a fan of Tim Tebow, he is Toby's role model so he likes to be called "Tobo Tebow" sometimes as a nickname.

1/26/2011- Our wedding firm visited the historic Marriott Muelbach hotel and we stopped for a photo op in the old phone booths.

1/27/2011- Daniel was combing his hair and decided to comb Toby's hair for him too.

1/28/2011- Forgot, whoops.

1/29/2011- My niece Callie has learned how to say "no". Here she is in action.

1/30/2011- Way to finish strong huh? That's okay.

Project 365 Week 2

1/8/2011- A little post dinner wine...literally. We discovered 4-packs of mini wines this week. Since I like white and Daniel likes red we can never finish full bottles before they go bad. This is a budget friendly solution.

1/9/2011- Snow dusted pumpkins. We didn't have a Christmas tree this year, but we held onto our pumpkins long past Halloween. Maybe I'll stick them in our side yard next to our 2009 decomposing Christmas tree.

1/10/2011- Enjoying the only snowstorm of the season...so far.

1/11/2011- This was the week of cooking dinner at home (an unusual occurrence for us). Here's Daniel's veggie and hummus pizza.

1/12/2011- Watching the replay of President Obama's moving speech for the Arizona memorial.

1/13/2011- A pile of dirty clothes on the floor of my closet became a bed for Toby while I got ready for work.

1/14/2011- I am not a morning person and rarely have to get up early for work, but this gorgeous sky was a nice treat despite having to work the early shift.

It's better to have tried and failed, than to never have tried at all.

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.”
- George Bernard Shaw

Project 365

I have some friends who have done the "a photo a day for a year" and love the idea. There are a lot of blogs and Flickr streams where you can view all sorts of folks' pictures from Project 365. I enjoy looking at people's streams who have already completed a year because it's so fun to look at a collection of images and see how they give a glimpse into one person's year of life.

So though I'm not taking on the challenge of a daily blog post again this year, I think I will try Project 365. I think it's doable since I'm not a perfectionist anymore and therefore have no problem with snapping a quick shot on my shotty camera phone. So here are my pictures from the first week of 2011.

1/1/2011- Daniel's birthday dinner at the new Leawood La Bodega. The private dining room was so cool and now I want to have dinner parties there every month just to sit in that awesome room. Good sangria and sweet friends. Here Daniel is pictured with friends Angela and Jonathan.

1/2/2011- Birthday dinner round two with Daniel's parents at Le Fou Frog. They all split a bottle of wine while I drank champagne and toasted to the best damn guy in town. Between the champagne and escargot I haven't felt so fancy in a long time. I split the seafood tower with my father-in-law and was thoroughly amused by the giant crab leg used in the presentation.

1/3/2011- We ended this night with a night of dancing to the Wii and the Michael Jackson Experience game. Couples who game together, stay together.

1/4/2011- Almost forgot to catch a glimpse into the day so I shot a picture of Toby and Penny in bed before we all fell asleep. I love Penny eyeing Toby.

1/5/2011- A shot of the pretty view of the Plaza at Christmas time. This was shot at the end of an event I helped with for work called Vendors, Venues, and a View. This week was full of job-related fun.

1/6/2011- This day had a tie for pictures to choose. It gives a nice glimpse into a typical lazy morning in the Cummings house. For some reason Daniel was playing "Baby Got Back" and told the dogs to have a dance party, so of course I jumped in. 10 minutes later Daniel shaved his mustache off after being "facial-haired" since this summer. It was a moment worth capturing.

1/7/2011- This stack of bridal magazines is my homework assignment for the new job I started this week working for a photographer. I love her, I love the job, and am really excited to see and work inside a new facet of the wedding industry. It was a wedding-filled week full of great interactions with people in the field. This shot sums up my optimism and excitement about my future and the opportunity to work alongside such great people in a fun industry.

Are you there world? It's me Hattie.

So my friend Bonnie showed me this fabulous feature on Blogger: the "stats" tab. Most of you who blog are probably already aware of this, but the info was all new to me. Here's what I want to know: who are the international readers who are visiting this blog. I have 227 views from South Korea, but that's an easy one. Why it's none other than the aforementioned Bonnie herself. But I don't know anyone in Russia or Canada. And we're not talking 5 or so random hits, but 87 from Russia and 74 from Canada. Then there's numerous views from Germany, Australia, China, and the UK. Not to be left out are a few visits from a Ukrainian and a Latvian.

Who are these people? If you're out there across an ocean please give me a sign you're there. And more importantly what is your story and how did our paths cross? Apparently in 2010 (ahem...2011), the term pen pals can take on a whole new meaning. Say what you will, social networking and globalization are incredibly fascinating phenomenons.

Tomorrow

Well here we are. December 31st. The last day of the year and the last post of "The Year of Living Imperfectly". How to finish? So much pressure. Well actually not. The Hattie of last year would have freaked out over a post like this. The opportunity to say something poignant, meaningful, and perfect would have overwhelmed me and thus I would have said nothing instead of trying and falling short. My conclusion to this year's blog experiment can be stated simply as: it worked.

I am not who I was a year ago. I am still troubled at times with an abnormal amount of anxiety, but I think I can honestly say that I am no longer a perfectionist or at least my perfectionism doesn't inhibit me anymore. I have learned that it really is better to try and fail than to never try at all. I realized I had 28 or 29 years worth of thoughts and emotions that I never voiced before. I had 28 or 29 years of desires and things to try that I was simply terrified to attempt at the risk of appearing foolish or worse...mediocre. This year I can proudly say that I wasn't quiet anymore. I expressed myself in new ways. For the first time I didn't sit on the sidelines. I got out on the field and joined the game. I lived. When I wrote the title of this blog the key word to me was "imperfectly". 365 days later the word from the title that jumps off the page at me is "living"! With the perfectionism broken I feel freedom to finally get on with the living part already!

I talked for over an hour yesterday with some dear friends about blogging. We discussed a lot of different things but one thing I shared was how having an audience was essential for my process because of the vulnerability, but that ultimately I have been writing for myself. The posts in which I found myself while writing conscious of my audience, attempting to appear witty or clever or even admirable, well those posts come off as disingenuous and insincere. The posts where I was most honest and "myself" got the bigger responses. This was a good phenomenon for me. It taught me that all people (my audience) are looking for from me is to be just myself and that who I am is good enough. I have loved having an audience. It is at the same time terrifying and comforting. The most encouraging things that were said to me this past year all had to do with a comment about something I had written. If you belonged to one of those comments, facebook messages, or emails I want to say thank you one more time. I have loved have a caravan of people join me on this journey. Thanks for traveling with me.

In answer to many of your questions, Yes I will continue to write. The year long project accomplished what I had hoped it would so I'm not going to attempt a daily post any longer. And let's be honest, if you needed any evidence that I'm no longer a perfectionist just look at how delinquent I was in my posting the past 3 months vs. the times I missed posts earlier in the year and beat myself up about it. I'm not sure what the blog will look like from here on out. I'm still finding my voice as I continue to find myself so I'm not sure how and if the subject matter may change. I think next week I'll be doing a "best and worst of" the year just to remember the journey and really reflect on how far we've come.

In the meantime I want to leave you with the lyrics from the refrain in a song we sang at the midnight Christmas Eve service this year that had me weeping. It is my prayer, though I think it may have already come true.

"Welcome to the end of your sorrows
Welcome to the end of yourself
Welcome to tomorrow
Where hope lives."

Could it be that I've finally woken up to my tomorrow? Could it really be true that I have left that yesterday and those things of the past actually in the past? I think so. Happy New Year and welcome to a beautiful tomorrow.

Full Circle

I fell asleep during It's a Wonderful Life right during the loss of the $8,000. So I woke up this morning to finish it. I must be becoming more of a crier in my old age because I don't ever remember getting so emotional during the final scene when all the townspeople come into the Bailey home dumping their money onto the table. And then Clarence's inscription in Tom Sawyer brought it all home for me in a very real way.

"Dear George:-
Remember no man is a failure who has friends.
Thanks for the wings.
Love,
Clarence"

We're coming close to the end of this "year of living imperfectly" and I think this truth is the perfect explanation of what I have learned this year. At the end of my life the thing I want to speak for me most is not my financial successes or business accomplishments but my relationships...my friends.